Bones
by peridotpirate
Summary: What would have happened to Camelot if Merlin told Morgana that he had magic?
1. Chapter 1

**_I do not own BBC Merlin or their characters etc., etc. This is my first fanfic and it is un-beta tested. I hope you enjoy reading it! I would love reviews to see if anyone likes it so I can upload further chapters. I have the story almost fully planned out, I just haven't written it all out, so if you do enjoy the story, there is more to come! Happy reading!_**

**Chapter 1**

Merlin had been told by Gaius _not _to meddle in the business pertaining to Morgana's newly found magic. Not only did Merlin want to help Morgana by sharing his secret, but it would also provide a sole companion in the deep waters in which they both tread. He knew he would be able to comfort Morgana because he went through the same experience: fear. Fear of being discovered, fear of being rejected. And a small part of his desire to confide in Morgana was purely selfish. He wanted someone to be a friend that knew every detail about him and still wanted to be around him. That's completely normal, for that's human nature.

Unsure of his actions, Merlin proceeded to the cave where the Great Dragon lies, hoping to find his answer there.

The winter wind was bitter as it nipped at Merlin's face. He stole past the guards with ease, making his way through the dank corridors until finally approaching the great cavern's entrance. Searching the dim cave for the dragon, he called, "It's me—Merlin! I need your help!" A great chuckle followed by the clanking of chains and the _whoosh_ of wings, the dragon appeared before Merlin, his keen yellow eyes on him.

"What is it this time, young warlock?" he didn't sound at all a bit sarcastic.

Merlin carried on without pause, "I've come about Morgana—she has magic, like me. I want to know if I should share my secret with her." The dragon's eyes bore into Merlin's, studying his expression."

"I have the answer you seek," he finally said.

Merlin's eyes perked up and he straightened his posture, "What do I do?"

The Great Dragon hesitated, wearily almost, and said, "Your…relationship with the witch has been known to even the first of the prophets of the Old Religion. Your destinies are intertwined."

Merlin was excited but confused, "Relationship? Does this _relationship _include me telling her of my magic?"

"Yes, you must tell her of your magic. It is crucial to your destiny. She will help you return magic to Camelot and all of the five kingdoms of Albion."

Merlin let out a sigh of relief. Joy and hope filled his heart.

"However, young warlock, I must warn you, for your behalf only, that the Lady Morgana will crush your heart. In the book of all tragic stories, yours I'm afraid will be the most devastating chapter. It will be unlike any story told before."

Merlin was shocked. "She's going to crush my heart? Are you saying that it's a, you know, _relationship _relationship? With…love?" He said the word so carefully, so lightly, and so, so awkwardly. He shifted from one foot to the other.

The Great Dragon appeared smugly amused, "Yes. What relationship were you expecting? The two of you are to be the most powerful sorcerer and sorceress all of Albion will ever know. The love between you two will strengthen your magic to something even you, Merlin, cannot possibly achieve now."

Merlin grimaced at the word _love._

The dragon seemed excited about the whole ordeal, but Merlin was still doubtful.

_Morgana? _Merlin thought to himself, _I mean sure, she's kind and attractive, but _Morgana? _Surely not. _"Are you sure?" he asked the dragon as he raised an eyebrow. The Great Dragon snorted with laughter.

"You came to _me, _don't you remember?"

Merlin, still unconvinced continued with a heavy sigh, "Is there anything else you can tell me that would help?"

The dragon cocked his large scaly head to one side and considered the boy. "I am afraid that is all I can tell you."

Merlin was exasperated. He came down to this dark, musky cave for a seemingly simple answer for a seemingly simple question. Instead he was loaded with a confusing and conflicting prophecy. He didn't want to learn that his "great" destiny would include falling in love only to result in the disappointment and destruction. But what _kind_ of destruction, Merlin has not the slightest idea. He can't imagine how Morgana could be capable of doing something so horrible that it would affect the whole of the land.

The Great Dragon's gaze turned full of sorrow on the young man. "It is the only way to save Albion."

Merlin was uneasy about this newly revealed prophecy as he turned from the dragon with a weak "thank you" and started his journey back through the corridors.

His thoughts toward Morgana switched from curiosity to doubt to awe and everything in between. He trudged across the stone courtyard, up a narrow spiral staircase, and down a long corridor until he reached the court physician's chambers.

"Ah. There you are Merlin. I have an errand I need you to take care of for me," Gaius, the greying physician inquired as Merlin entered the room.

Merlin approached Gaius's potion table, ready for his mission. Various sizes of colored liquids covered the vast majority of the old wooden table, along with strange trinkets and assorted ingredients.

"I've just prepared a new remedy for Lady Morgana's sleeping draught. Take this to her, would you, and tell her to drink half of it now and the other half just before she is ready to sleep."

Merlin's heart jumped. "Morgana?"

"Yes," Gaius said quizzically, "You know she suffers from nightmares."

"Oh. Right," he said, trying to shrug off the sense of confusion embarked across the physician's face. "Right, well, I'll be off then." He grabbed the small glass vial of purple liquid from Gaius's hand and made for the door.

"Merlin. Don't forget what I told you. You must not tell her of your secret."

Merlin grinned, "Of course not."

He entered the passageway and knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to tell Morgana that he has magic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews! I write when I have free time, which is almost every day, so I (hopefully) won't be one of those authors who posts a chapter a month at a time. My goal will be to update as soon as I can in my power! I may start promoting my story on tumblr, or may not, I haven't decided, but if you want to follow me I'm much easier to reach! Hope you like this one!**

**Chapter 2**

As Merlin made his way to Morgana's chambers, his mind was racing. _What will I say? What will I do? _He played various scenarios in his mind of how he would like for the conversation to go. Some of the scenes ended in them embracing, while others ended with Morgana ordering him to leave because she thinks he's lying to her.

Due to his overactive imagination, he managed to walk past Morgana's chambers for quite a length. Merlin turned back and approached her door. Releasing a long slow breath he rapped two quick taps on the dark wooden door.

It was Gwen who answered her face pleasant and expectant, "Hi Merlin."

"May I come in?" Gwen opened the heavy door farther and stood aside to make room for him to enter. "I have Morgana's sleeping potion. Is she here?" He looked around the spacious room for the king's ward.

"No, but she'll be back soon."

"Okay," he said disappointedly, "Make sure she drinks half of it now, and the other half as she goes to bed."

"Alright," Gwen coughed, "Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin raised an eyebrow, "Do you have what's been going around?"

Gwen frowned, "Yes, I think I do." She coughed again.

"You should probably see Gaius before it gets too bad."

She nodded in agreement, "You're probably right. Tomorrow, perhaps."

Merlin stood there for a few more seconds, awkwardly looking at his feet. Gwen considered him, and was about to ask him about the weather when the door opened.

Morgana, in all her glory, stepped into the room. Seeing Merlin there she smiled sweetly, "Oh, hello Merlin! A surprise seeing you. How are you?"

Everything Merlin had planned out in his mind had fled. He stood there, dumbfounded.

"Uh…good! I'm—good!" Without realizing it he had been standing there for a while, his mouth partially hanging opened.

Morgana gave him a queer look as she draped her shawl over the back of a chair.

"Gwen, could you get me some water?"

Gwen nodded and left the room. And they stood there for a while, complete silence, awkwardly waiting for the other to speak.

Merlin gave up, "Well, I'll be leaving," he said it quickly and made a break for the exit.

"Merlin?"

He stopped, "Yes—my lady?"

She grinned, "Thank you for bringing me the potion. And send Gaius my gratitude, would you?"

"Of course." He removed himself before he did anything else stupid.

A long frustrated sigh left his lips. _What was that? _He almost ran smack into Arthur as he rounded the corner.

"Merlin! Finally! I've been looking for you for ages. Where have you been?"

Merlin shrugged, "I was running errands for Gaius."

Arthur turned back the way he had come and motioned for Merlin to follow. "Well, I need my armor cleaned and my knives sharpened. I'm training the new knights tomorrow and…" merlin stopped paying attention because his thoughts were still centered on Morgana and the prophecy. He wondered how the chain of events would proceed after he shared his secret with Morgana. Will she be happy? Relieved? Would she think he was playing her? He had absolutely no idea. All Merlin could do is hope for the best.

"You know what I mean? It just makes sense that way. Right?"

"What? Oh—yes, it makes perfect sense, sire."

Arthur stopped Merlin with a hand to his chest. "You haven't the faintest idea what I've said, have you?"

"No."

"No." Arthur scoffed, incredulous, "Honestly, Merlin." He walked past Merlin. Merlin fell into step next to him as they made their way to Arthur's chambers.

The next day, Merlin was forced to endure an entire day of target practice. Merlin was the target, naturally. He had axes, knives, and other assorted weapons thrown at him by the knights in training.

"Isn't this the just most fun you've ever had? I know it is for me!" Arthur said as he patted Merlin roughly on the back after Merlin had recovered from being knocked down by the force of an axe against his wooden shield.

"Ha ha. Very funny," Merlin said, not at all in good spirits.

"Ah. See now you'll learn to listen to me when I'm speaking to you." With another rough jerk, Arthur bounded off to congratulate the knight-to-be who dismounted his servant. Merlin mumbled profanity as he gathered the weapons at his feet.

"And I want all of those blades polished," Arthur called across the field."

"Yes, sire," Merlin mumbled sarcastically under his breath.

Merlin was at last finished with the seemingly endless task, he went to Arthur's chambers, did what Arthur ordered, and then walked tiredly to the chambers of his own. When he entered the room there was no sign of Gaius. Merlin strode over to the table where a plate of food sat next to a small worn piece of parchment. _Tending to Gwen, she is ill. I shall be back when I can._

Merlin sat on the wooden bench and prepared to eat his stew. His spoon had not yet reached his mouth when the door creaked open.

"I just read your note—oh. Morgana—I mean, my lady." Merlin stood up quickly and bowed slightly. Morgana smiled and stepped further into the room.

"What note?"

Merlin stood rigid, "Oh, I thought you were Gaius. He left me a note saying he wouldn't be back until later."

Morgana seemed disappointed, "Oh, alright. I only came for my sleeping potion."

"Ah, here you go." Merlin turned and headed for Gaius's potion table and picked out the bottle designated for Morgana. "Do these help with your nightmares?"

She looked pained, "Not really, but it's better than nothing at all."

Merlin nodded in agreement.

"Well, thank you, Merlin."

Morgana turned to go, but Merlin suddenly stopped her by saying, "Wait. Morgana, I have to speak to you."

She faced him with eyebrows raised expectantly. Merlin stepped towards her until they were considerably close so he could whisper if needed.

"Morgana," he started slowly, not meeting her eyes, "that night—when you came to me—when you told me you had magic—"

"Merlin. Don't. It's okay, I don't want an apology." She turned again to leave.

He reached out a hand and lightly grabbed her upper arm to stop her. He took it away quickly when she gave him a questioning glance.

"That night I wanted to tell you something, but I was afraid it would be a mistake if I did."

Morgana didn't understand. She pulled her eyebrows together in confusion.

"I wanted to tell you, that I have magic. Like you."


	3. Chapter 3

**_I feel like I should give you a warning if you plan on to keep with my story: I plan on it eventually turning into a romance, so if you aren't someone who ships Mergana, than I suggest you stop while you're ahead. I'm not saying it's in this chapter or the next, but _****eventually****_ it will turn into one. Also, I feel like I need to add that if you see me on tumblr, send me a message to get my butt off of there and write for the fanfic! I spend too much time on there when I'm trying to procrastinate... Thank you again for the reviews! Let me know if you find any typos! Hope you like this chapter!_**

**Chapter 3**

"What?" Morgana asked, shocked.

Merlin's eyes bore into hers, "I have magic." Morgana's expression was that of surprise, but suspicion as well.

"I don't believe you," she said backing up, "That's a sick thing to say to me, Merlin. Especially now. I thought we were friends." Her normally sweet voice was cold and harsh.

"No, Morgana, I am not lying—see, look!" Merlin uttered an incantation as he held out a clenched fist. He saw her start at the flash of his eyes. He opened his hand and a small yellow butterfly took flight in between them. It flew around for a few seconds before vanishing with a _poof_.

At first Morgana gave no reaction, but then she did the unexpected. She flung herself at Merlin, clutching the front of his shirt and cried against his chest. Merlin, out of all of his imagined reactions, had not been prepared for this. He stood there as she soiled the front of his shirt while he processed what was happening.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Merlin had never comforted a girl before, let alone a king's ward. He didn't know what was expected of him. He decided to wrap his arms around her and hold her to him as she continued to weep. His heart felt for her; he knew exactly how she was feeling.

And they stayed like that for a long time, just Merlin holding Morgana as she let out all of her grief, her fear, and her relief. The nerves in Merlin's neck began to pinch with pain. He took the risk of relaxing it by resting his cheek on the top of Morgana's head. She didn't seem to mind, or she didn't seem to notice.

Eventually Morgana's cries ceased and turned into pitiful hiccups.

"Will it get easier?" came her soft voice, thick with tears.

Merlin swallowed, "No."

Morgana hiccupped.

"But I can help you." Merlin brought himself to push Morgana away just enough so he could look her in the eyes. She still clutched the front of his now tear stained shirt. "I went through—am still going through—the same thing you are."

"You are?" she gulped.

Merlin grinned sadly, "I've had to lie about myself to everyone for my entire life."

A single tear streaked down Morgana's face and Merlin had the impulse to wipe it away, but refrained.

"Magic isn't something you need to be afraid of. It's a blessing, but it just seems to be a curse." Morgana didn't say anything for a while. They just stood there and stared at each other for a while. Suddenly, Morgana asked almost indignantly,

"Why haven't you told me until now? That you have magic, I mean." Her tone was hard, but her teary eyes were soft.

Merlin swallowed.

"I thought it would be safer kept a secret."

"Why?"

"I thought I would be protecting us both, keeping you in the dark," he lied. He didn't want to say it was because of Gaius.

Morgana considered his answer, pursing her lips. Merlin wasn't sure if it was the prophecy, or his own emotions, but he couldn't help but think about her beauty, even in the midst of her tears. He took notice of the way her dress fit snug on her body, the way its blue color made her brilliant green eyes seem brighter, and her soft lips.

Merlin stopped himself. He was supposed to be consoling her. He opened up his arms a bit to offer Morgana a hug and she melted into him for a while longer.

"Merlin?" she asked as she backed up a little, "Can I stay here until I can keep myself together?"

"Of course," he said warmly and she leaned in for another short hug.

Merlin led her over to the small unlit fireplace across the room. He sat crisscrossed on the stone floor and motioned for her to join him. They sat side-by-side, shoulders touching.

"Here, watch."

Merlin held out his hand toward the pile of wood, palm outward, and muttered an incantation. He felt Morgana jump, then stiffen at his side.

He turned to her, "I can teach you that. That, and other things. If you want."

She relaxed a tad and her expression was a mix of curiosity and weary excitement, "Yes, please do!"

Merlin stood up and retrieved a small candle from Gaius's workbench. As he sat back down, Morgana's nerves were tingling with anticipation. Merlin sat the candle in front of them.

"Okay, say what I say." He spoke the foreign words carefully and slowly for Morgana. She repeated the strange phrase back to him twice. "Alright. Now look at the candle and imagine it lighting itself when you say the spell."

And she did. Nothing happened. She tried again—nothing. Not even a flicker.

Merlin even noticed the lack of glowing in her eyes that should have been there. Seeing that Morgana was growing more upset with each failure, three, four, five more times, he stopped her.

"You have to feel it—the magic, I mean. You have to believe that _you_ are the one lighting the candle."

Morgana bit her lip and nodded seriously. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Merlin waited with excitement.

She recited the incantation.

Nothing.

Frustrated, Morgana leaned back, away from the candle that was giving her so much difficulty. Merlin, unaware that she was about to try again, reached out to console her, his fingers touched her arm as the spell left her mouth.

Merlin felt a jolt of electricity race up his arm and spread down to his toes. Morgana's eyes blazed a brilliant gold and the candle exploded. Wax splattered the area around them.

Both of them were speechless. They sat there, too shocked to say or do anything.

Finally, Merlin made a _tsk_ noise and said, "Well, I think you got it."

Morgana burst into a short fit of laughter while Merlin grinned stupidly at her. After that they didn't speak for a while, they just sat there and stared into the fire or marveled at how high the candle wax had gotten on the walls.

"Well," Morgana said, "I think I'm stable enough to make it to my chambers now."

Merlin stood up quickly to offer her a hand. She took it graciously and smoothed down her hair as she picked up the sleeping potion from the table. Merlin followed her to the door.

"Do you want me to walk with you?" Morgana thought it over.

"No, thank you, that's alright. I think I can make it."

Merlin grinned, "Then good night, my lady."

Morgana smiled at her feet then grasped Merlin quickly for one last embrace, which he returned joyously.

"Good night. And thank you, for everything." She exited gracefully, leaving him alone.

Merlin extinguished the fire, put away his uneaten stew, and ambled over to his small bedroom. He fell face forward onto his small, hard bed and processed everything that had just happened.

And for once, he felt a glimmer of hope.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's another chapter! Thank you all so much for the reviews! It makes my day every time I see another one!**

**Chapter 4**

"Merlin!"

Merlin awoke to the bright sun streaming in through his small window. _What time is it? _He thought.

"Merlin!"

He lifted his head up from the pillow and blinked as he scoured the room.

"Mmmm…" he mumbled as he stretched, his hands pressing against the wall near his head.

"Merlin!"

His door suddenly opened. Gaius stormed in. "Merlin! What in God's name happened in there?"

Merlin was confused, "What do you—oh." The candle wax. Merlin had completely forgotten to clean it up. He was too focused at the time about what had happened with Morgana. Gaius had strictly forbidden him to say a word about his magic to her, so he thought it would be a good idea to leave her out of it.

"Well?" Gaius asked sternly.

"I was, uh, practicing. Magic. Practicing magic, yeah."

Gaius raised a questioning eyebrow, "And what kind of magic is _that_?" Merlin stared blankly back.

"Well…it's uh, explosive magic. Obviously. You know, to…_explode_ stuff…?" Gaius had never seen a dumber look on anyone's face as he looked at Merlin's right then.

"Why would—oh, never mind. Just clean it up! Quickly too! You have other chores you need to be doing!" Merlin grumbled as he rolled out of bed to scrub every inch of the room.

Later, Merlin found a helplessly confused Morgana wandering throughout the kitchen's wide corridor. She looked as though she was lost, or if she couldn't quite make up her mind about something.

"My lady?" Merlin called as he made his way towards her across the hall.

"Oh, Merlin! Hello! How are you?" She kept looking around.

"Uhm," he said as he approached her, "Is there something I can help you find?"

She sighed, frustrated, "I'm trying to find the kitchen." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"It's right down this hall, on the right. Why are you looking for it?"

Morgana frowned, appearing a bit embarrassed, "Well, Gwen is still ill, you know that, and after last night…well, I must have forgotten to send word that I would need someone in her place until she returns."

"Oh," Merlin said grinning, "But why are you looking for the kitchens?"

"To ask for some food to be brought up to my room." Merlin chuckled.

"What?" Morgana asked indignantly.

"Nothing, my lady. Well, Arthur doesn't need me right now, surprisingly, so I can bring it up for you. What do you want?"

Morgana's face brightened, "Oh, thank you! Gwen usually brings some sort of fruit with ham and bread."

"Alright, I'll bring it up as soon as I can."

Morgana's bright eyes shone and she briefly grabbed Merlin's arm as she departed. Merlin stiffened, expecting to be shocked again by Morgana's touch. No such shock occurred. _Strange._ Merlin watched Morgana disappear around the corner, then set on preparing her meal.

Merlin balanced the silver tray in his left hand as he knocked twice on Morgana's door.

"Come in!" he heard from within. Merlin entered to find Morgana's room not as tidy as it usually was. Bed unmade, a few dresses draped over the divider, a cup here and there. Morgana was standing by a window, peering through it. Merlin pushed the door shut and set the platter on the table.

"See anything interesting?" he asked as he poured her wine.

"I just love the snow," she breathed.

"Here you go, my lady," Merlin gestured to the plate of food in front of him.

Morgana turned to him and frowned, "We _are _friends Merlin, you don't have to say 'my lady,' I have a _name_." She said it somewhat bitterly.

"Right…Morgana." Morgana rolled her eyes as she sat down in the plush chair Merlin had pulled out for her. Merlin pushed her chair in and then walked into the center of the room.

"Whew. It's freezing in here." He wandered over to the marble fireplace and crouched down to set new logs in it. He turned to Morgana, who was watching him as she ate, "Do you want to light it?"

Morgana's eyes widened, "No. Not after last night." Merlin smiled and faced the wood again. Morgana leaned in her chair to study how he used his magic. Merlin recited the ancient words from memory and the flames burst up, consuming the dry logs.

"There you are," he stood up, "It should warm up here in a bit."

Morgana frowned at him, "I still don't understand how magic is so easy for you, and so difficult for me."

Merlin set to making the bed. "Well, I've had time to study and practice." He folded the fluffy white blanket over the sheets, tucking it in at the corners. "I have a book of magic," he said. He listened for any change in Morgana's stature. She kept eating, so he continued. "We can study it together, if you want." He placed the thick pillows at the head of the bed, and the smaller, rounder pillows in front of those.

"What do you think?" he asked, turning towards her.

She considered it, "The gold pillows go in between the red ones and the brown ones."

Merlin smiled, "I meant about my idea."

She laughed, sweet and music-like, "I know." Morgana stood and strode over to her bed. "I think it's a great idea." She switched the pillows around.

Merlin beamed. This was exactly what he had wanted: someone to share his mystery, someone to discover with him.

"When do you want to start?"

Morgana sighed, "I don't know, what's the best time for you? I know Arthur and Gaius always have you busy."

"Hm." Merlin leaned against the wooden bedpost. He hadn't thought of all the obstacles they would have to pass. Morgana sat on the edge of her bed and fiddled with the bow at her waist.

"Well, it would have to be after dark, we know that, since you won't be with Arthur, and Gaius would probably be asleep." Merlin nodded in agreement. This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

"I'll have to think about it," he said. "But in the meantime, let me clean up so Gwen won't have much to do when she returns."

Morgana smiled at him and grabbed his hand, "You really are sweet, Merlin." He gasped as their hands touched. Tingles spread through his limbs, like they had the previous night, but not as strong.

"What?" Morgana asked, shocked.

"Did you feel that?"

"Feel what?" Her eyes were wide as she studied him. Merlin's eyebrows drew together in confusion.

"You didn't feel that—that _spark_?""

"No? Should I have?"

"I don't know. I don't know if _I_ should have felt it!"

Morgana closed her eyes and help up a hand, "Okay, Merlin, what are you talking about?"

"When you touched me!" he said incredulously. "I felt a spark! Like lightning!"

"Well, how come I didn't feel it?"

"Wha—I—" Merlin sprung away from the bed, "that's what I've been wondering! This is the second time it's—"

"Second time? When was the first?"

Merlin stopped and spoke quietly, "When you made the candle explode, when you said the spell, I touched you. Do you remember?" Morgana nodded slowly. "When we touched, I felt as though a fire was spreading through my veins. It didn't hurt exactly, it just felt…well, powerful."

Morgana thought over what he'd said. "So," she began, "_I_ didn't make the candle, you know, explode, _you_ did?" Merlin shrugged, defeated by his confusion.

"I think your spell started it, but us _touching_ amplified it, or something." He had no other explanation for what had happened.

"Do you think it would happen every time?"

"What do you mean?"

"And _amplified_ spell. If I say it, and you hold my hand, or something similar, would it be more powerful than it usually is?" Merlin thought it over and shrugged again as he blew out a breath.

"I honestly don't know, and I don't' think it's a good idea to try it here in the open."

Morgana stood, "I agree. But I also think we should try it again." Merlin swallowed.

"I think you need to learn the basics before we try anything like that again. It could end up being dangerous."

"But who doesn't love a bit of danger now and again?" Morgana winked playfully.

Merlin smiled widely in return as he stepped past her to the wooden divider. He picked up a dress and examined it, "Do these need to be washed or just put back?"

"Put back." Morgana was eyeing him with a grin as he collected the other dresses in his arms.

Merlin opened her wardrobe and blushed when he saw Morgana's night dresses. He didn't know why he felt awkward. He felt as if he was invading Morgana's privacy.

"See anything interesting?" Morgana asked, mockingly repeating Merlin's former question.

Merlin was flustered. "Uh, yes—no! I—where do these hang in here?" He help up the dresses, hoping to hide part of his face from her. Morgana smirked and came up next to him, inside the mouth of the wardrobe's doors. Their bodies pressed together a little as she reached in front of him to push aside a couple of her evening gowns.

No fire this time.

"Right here."

"Right," Merlin hastily hung up the dresses and shut the double doors. Morgana returned to her food and nibbled on the strawberries. Merlin stood by the window and thought for a moment. The room was quiet, except for the crackling of the fire, which had warmed the room considerably.

"Oh!" Merlin said aloud without meaning to.

"What?" Morgana asked in between bites.

"I completely forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"Gaius meets with the elders in the archives once a week on Thursdays."

"Okay?"

"He's usually not back until midnight or later."

"Okay…?"

"We could use that time to study together."

"Oh! That's great!" she said as she swallowed her last bite. "When do you think we should start meeting?"

Merlin smiled to himself at her eagerness, "We can start this week if you want. Would you be ready?"

"Yes!" she beamed.

Suddenly loud bells could be heard, signaling noon.

"Oh! Arthur's training again today. I have to meet him in the courtyard." Merlin quickly made his way to the door. "Are you finished with your food? I can take it with me on my way."

"No, I'll keep it for now. Don't be late. We both know how Arthur is…" They smiled brightly at each other, high off of their exciting conversation.

Merlin was halfway out the door when Morgana called, "I'll see you on Thursday!"

"Thursday," he agreed.

The door shut firmly behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for keeping with this story! It means a lot to know that you all actually like it! I'm trying to do my best to make what the characters say seem close to what they would have actually said in the show, so if something seems off in any character's dialect, please let me know! I want it to seem familiar! Review, review, review! Thank you! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

The training had been just as exciting as the other day. Merlin was used as a dummy ("You'll be perfect for it!" Arthur had said) to be punched, wrestled, and flung about the muddy training grounds. The pain he could handle, but it was the cheap insults and rude remarks from the arrogant prince that made Merlin want to unleash all of the fury of his magic on him. But he knew that wouldn't happen. However, he fantasized about it anyways.

"Don't be such a _girl_, Merlin!" Arthur called from beside the line of knights across the field. "Stand up and give us a real fight!"

Merlin huffed as he pushed his bruised body up from the hard ground. The winter air stung his face almost as much as the blows from the knights did. He eyed the knight he had been wrestling for the past few minutes. The young man seemed to have some pity for Merlin in his eyes, but not enough to hold back.

"And again!" came Arthur's booming voice. Merlin was flattened on his stomach in seconds, his arm twisted in the most horrible way and his pride was already long gone.

"Nice one Christopher!" Arthur jogged over to pat the young knight on the back. "I believe that's a new record for you. And you too, Merlin," he said turning to his squashed manservant, "Your record of being beaten has greatly increased."

Merlin glared at him as he rolled onto his back. Arthur strode over to the rest of the knights. Merlin whispered a spell and Arthur instantly pitched forward, receiving a mouth full of muddy snow. The knights all rad to help him up, but he quickly stood and spat on the ground.

"Must've been a rock hidden in the snow…" Merlin smiled to himself, satisfied with his small victory. It wasn't the horse he wanted to turn Arthur into, but it would do for now.

Later, after Merlin had washed all of Arthur's clothes, polished his armor, and sharpened his swords, he was finally permitted to leave. Merlin took a quick bath, scrubbing off the caked on mud and gently massaging his new bruises and cuts. When he was out and dressed, Gaius helped him with applying medicine to the worse of the wounds. It included a foul tasting liquid to help with the pain. Merlin then found himself laying on his bed, thinking. Thinking about Morgana, thinking about what he wanted to teach her first, what to impress her with. Over and over in his mind he contemplated what to do. He knew for sure that if he didn't teach her the basics first they wouldn't get anywhere. He needed to teach her spells like creating fire, foremost, or moving objects, or even summoning small creatures like the butterfly he had conjured on the night he confessed.

_I need sleep_, Merlin thought, though he was too energized with his childlike excitement. He rolled over and faced his bare wall. He tried to will himself to sleep, but it evaded him. Merlin was too busy imagining what it will be like with someone to look to, other than Gaius, about his struggles. And unlike Gaius, he'll have someone who is _sharing_ his burden. Not to mention that it will also be someone not older than dust. _It will be nice_, he thought, _to have a friend._ Merlin didn't have many friends back in Ealdor. And he stayed like that, thinking about how drastically he wanted his life to change, until sleep finally claimed him.

**_*Two days later*_**

Merlin rolled out of bed and quickly got dressed for the day. His entire being was jumpy with anticipation. He practically ran into Gaius as he came tearing out of his bedroom.

"For heaven's sake!" Gaius exclaimed. "Why on earth are you in such a hurry?" Merlin was sitting at their small dining table and was shoveling in his breakfast.

"Arthur has to attend a big conference all day today, so the sooner I can get my chores done, the sooner I have my free time." He popped in a few grapes.

"Hmph," muttered Gaius skeptically, "Well, don't forget the chores I have for you."

"I know," Merlin said brightly. He was too eager about his first study session with Morgana tonight to care about all of the tasks he had ahead of him. "I'll see you later," he said as he fled from the room, making his way across the castle to the prince's chambers.

Merlin had been alone in his chambers for some time now, waiting for Morgana. He was half worried that she was abandoning him.

His day had been quite uneventful. He started by cleaning Arthur's room from top to bottom followed by long walks throughout the castle, delivering Gaius's potions and remedies. Merlin saw to it that Gaius went to his meeting as usual, then sat by the small fireplace and waited. He waited thirty minutes for Morgana. Thirty minutes turned into forty-five, forty-five into an hour. He was certainly having his doubts.

"I am _so, so _sorry Merlin!" Morgana came bursting into the room, breathless. "I was talking with Gwen and lost all sense of time! God, how long have you been waiting?"

"Not long," he lied. He wasn't upset, just relieved. "It's okay, though, because we still have a good two, three hours until Gaius comes back."

Morgana looked relieved. She unhooked her cloak and laid it across a chair on her way over to Merlin by the fireplace. She sat next to him so that they were facing each other.

"Okay," she breathed, "I'm ready."

"You sure?" she nodded vigorously. Merlin pulled out his book of magic he had concealed behind him and presented it to her. Morgana took it carefully in both hands and set it on her lap. She stroked the leather binding.

"What are these symbols?"

"Spells. It's the language of the old religion."

"And you can read them?"

"Yes," he nodded. Morgana's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"And soon I'll be able to read it?"

"Yeah, but for now I'm just going to make sure you know the_ essential_ spells." Morgana's excitement depleted a bit, but she was still attentive. "I know you don't like the whole fire-candle-explosion thing, but using magic to make fire is one of the simplest of spells, so I've decided that I'm not going to teach you anything new until you can do it."

"But I—" Merlin held up a hand to stop her protests, despite how unacceptable it was for a servant to do such a thing. He already had the logs in place on the grate. Morgana appeared to be irritated and distressed all at once. She said the spell several times, and like the first time she had attempted it, nothing happened. She groaned.

"Why won't it work?" Merlin himself was confused. He said the incantation and the fire roared up. The light of the flames danced on their faces. Morgana's frown deepened, so he used a different spell to extinguish it.

A thought occurred to Merlin. Even though he was still unsure about his theory, he leaned over to Morgana and took her hand in his. Nothing happened, no fire, no spark. "Now say it. Try not to say it with any emotion like last time, just say it naturally." And so she did.

The flames flew up, higher and larger than Merlin's. Both of them stared into the fire, astonished and curious, still grasping hands.

"This makes no sense to me," Morgana said. Merlin nodded in agreement. He thought over every possible explanation, but could find nothing that fit. Merlin let go of Morgana's hand and put out the fire with a quick spell.

"Do it again."

Morgana sighed, "It's not going to work…" Merlin shrugged. Morgana said the incantation once more. Curiously, the fire burst to life, about the same size Merlin's had been. "What? How did you know that would work?"

"I didn't," he said blinking. "I just thought, what if since your magic is new it needs to be, I don't know, _fed _magic to work?"

Morgana stared openmouthed at him, her red lips forming a small O. "Merlin. You are a genius!" she beamed and faced her fire. "Okay, okay, what was the spell to put it out?"

The remainder of their time together consisted of Morgana toying with lighting and extinguishing her fire. Merlin taught her how to control the height, temperature, and movement of the flames, as well as performing the spell without speaking. Morgana had no trouble with any spell that night after Merlin had held her hand. She was almost bouncing with joy. She kept asking Merlin to show her another spell, but they both knew that Gaius would return soon.

"Next time, I promise," Merlin smiled widely at her as he walked her to the door.

"I'm going to keep you to that."

"Good night, Morgana," Merlin still thought it was strange to call her by her name.

"Good night," she said with a sly smile. Merlin caught her eyes flash gold just before she turned to go. He shut the door behind her and faced the room and a small smile crept onto his face.

The fire was lit.


	6. Chapter 6

**I think I deserve an award for updating so quickly! I have a snow day tomorrow so I may or may not update as quickly as I did this time! Remember when I told you that it was going to be a Mergana fanfic? Well, it still will be, don't worry! Have fun reading this chapter! I had fun writing it!**

**Chapter 6**

From then on, Merlin and Morgana had weekly sessions to study and practice magic together. Luckily enough, Gaius was still unaware of these occasions. They soon learned that Morgana could not use her magic unless it was helped by Merlin's; however, every time her magic drew its strength from Merlin's, the less frequent she needed to. They got so far with it that she hardly ever had to do it anymore. Even though she didn't need Merlin's magic to start her own, whenever they touched, both of their magic was noticeably stronger. They would take turns using each other's magic to experiment with their own. Merlin had made a tree grow in the middle of Gaius's chambers by using Morgana's magic, and Morgana had managed to turn Merlin's skin blue and his hair purple on accident by using his.

Morgana pointed out to Merlin that she could feel the "fire," that Merlin had called it, when they made contact. She said that every time they touched it was more noticeable than the last. Morgana also got to the point where she knew how to manipulate all of the spells that Merlin had taught her, and began to learn how to read the language of the old religion. She wanted to do this quickly so Merlin wouldn't have to spoon feed her the spells.

Not only did both of their magic grow, but their relationship did as well. It only took three sessions for them to click. There was an air of ease between them. They had both found someone to depend on. Merlin had long put aside the dragon's prophecy of him and Morgana being in love because he believed that their friendship was as natural as breathing and he didn't want it to change. When he thought of her, he didn't see his future love, but he saw a beautiful girl who he knew he wanted to keep close as long as he lived, but not in a romantic way.

As they grew closer they sometimes found themselves talking more than practicing their magic during their sessions. They talked about their interests, their opinions, their burdens, and their fears. They shared secrets, too. Sometimes they would just sit side by side, Morgana's head on Merlin's shoulder, and stare into the fire in Merlin's chambers.

When they weren't attending a session, they had to resume their act of Uther's beloved ward and the prince's idiotic manservant. They hardly ever spoke outside of their sessions. A friendly word here or there, a wave, a smile. It was improper for someone of Morgana's status to be friends with the likes of Merlin's, so they kept their distances.

It was during the beginning of one of their regular meetings when Merlin said to Morgana, "Now that you know all of these spells, I think you should try it in a different place, you know, to use your magic on a much larger scale."

"Like where?"

"The forest," he replied as he slid his arms into his leather jacket. "Come on, it'll be fun!" Morgana smiled at him and looped her arm through his.

"Lead the way!"

The sun was just setting as they snuck out of the castle. Merlin told Morgana to distract the guards using magic, which ended with one guard covered in bird feathers and the other completely unconscious.

"That's not what I meant, but I guess it works," he joked. The moon was full so there was no need for torches as they began their decent into the thick forest. They entered a small clearing that was muddy from the recently melted snow. Merlin led Morgana to the center of the clearing and then took a few steps back.

"Okay, do what I showed you earlier."

"_What?_" she said, astonished. "You told me that it was painful!"

"Well, I wouldn't know exactly, since I've never met anyone who has done it to me…but I assumed it was painful."

"But I don't want to do it to you!"

Merlin sighed, "Morgana, you're going to have to use defensive magic one way or another, and we both know that there is no way we could manage to practice it in Gaius's room. Now do the spell."

Morgana glared at him, clearly unhappy. She reached out her hand, palm facing Merlin. He braced himself. The last thing he saw was Morgana's eyes flash a bright gold before he was violently flung backward, all the way across the rest of the clearing, and slammed into the trunk of an outlining oak. Merlin fell to the ground and clutched the back of his head, his vision blurry.

"Merlin!" Morgana raced to his side. "I am so sorry! How badly are you hurt?" There was immense fear in her tone that comforted Merlin, knowing that she cared so much for his safety, almost as much as Morgana holding him against her as she looked him over for serious injuries.

"I'm fine, Morgana, really," it wasn't _technically _a lie, but his heart couldn't stand the look of absolute worry in Morgana's eyes. He stood up as she held onto him and his vision began to clear.

"See? Perfectly fine." Morgana's bottom lip was out as she considered her friend.

"Stop lying Merlin, you're not good at it." Merlin sighed, a bit frustrated.

"At least I know that you would be able to defend yourself if you had to resort to magic."

"Have you not seen me with a sword, Merlin? I don't think I would need to resort to magic to defend myself." Merlin laughed and stepped away.

"Do you want to try it again?"

"Absolutely not."

"Alright. Let's try something else then."

"Like what?"

"Follow me." Merlin led her deeper into the forest, careful not to make a sound. He suddenly stopped and motioned for them to crouch down behind the base of a great three they were near.

"What is it?" Morgana whispered, her breath tickling Merlin's ear.

"Look." Morgana shifted around him and looked out in between the trees. There in the distance a beautiful doe was grazing under the moonlight. They were far enough away to where they could just make out the deer's outline.

"Okay," Merlin breathed, "I want you to lure it over here with magic." Morgana pursed her lips and thought for a moment. Once having decided what to do, she crept out from their hiding spot and stepped out in the open between two trees. Merlin felt the swirl of magic coming off of Morgana as she quietly recited her incantation. Merlin knew this spell well, because he had used it plenty of times to deceive guards. The magic's aurora was sweet and seductive. Luckily the spell was aimed at the doe, or Merlin would have been on top of Morgana by now.

The doe perked up, its head turned towards Morgana. It started making its way towards them slowly. Merlin smiled. Morgana was great at her magic. Almost as soon as he thought that, he felt a major shift in the magic. It turned from desirable to destructive. He felt a jolt of panic emitting from her magic. The doe suddenly stopped and it's eyes wide with terror. It fell to the ground in grotesque spasms, its body convulsing this way and that. A high, pitiful wail came from the deer.

Morgana stumbled back, mortified at what was happening. The doe violently reared its head back and Merlin could see the life slowly being sucked out of it. He wanted to throw up.

"What did you do?" he asked Morgana.

"Nothing!" she yelled. There were tears streaming down her face. The doe's moans ceased at once and its body went limp. Merlin strode over to Morgana's shaking form on the ground.

"Morgana," he said softly as he reached down to her. Morgana grabbed hold of him and he wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed.

"I don't know what happened," she mumbled over and over through her tears. "It was working and then—and then I just lost control!" Merlin held her tighter.

"It's okay," he soothed.

"No! It's not okay! How can you say that it's okay! How can magic be so wonderful one moment and so devastating the next?"

"Morgana…" _don't do this to yourself, _he wanted to say, but decided to keep the silence between them as he stroked her long dark hair.

"I want to go back," she said almost as a plea.

"Okay," he said gently.

Merlin decided that they had done enough magic for that night so he went ahead and led her straight to her room. Once inside, Merlin lit a few candles with magic as he helped her over to the bed.

"Merlin." Morgana clutched his arm as he turned after saying a sad good night. "Will you stay with me?" Merlin had never been asked a question such as this before. "I know it sounds improper, but I don't want to be alone. It scares me, and I need someone Merlin. I need you." Fresh tears were welling up in her eyes.

"Of course," he said with complete sympathy for her. She almost looked normal again with the amount of relief in her expression.

Morgana didn't bother to change into a nightgown or even to get under the sheets. She just threw the decorative pillows aside and curled up on her side. Merlin took that as his cue, so he kicked off his boots and shrugged off his now muddy jacket. "So I can…?" he gestured toward the bed.

"Yes," she said, trying to conceal a small smile. She thought his caution was cute.

Merlin stepped around to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to her and lay on his back. He didn't have enough time to turn to Morgana and ask if she was cold before she was curled up against his side. Her head nestled on his fast rising chest and her knees bent and resting on his. Merlin instinctively pulled his arm out from under her and wrapped it around her back, pulling her to him slightly more. Morgana gripped a part of the front of his shirt in her hand as she tried to calm herself. The now familiar fire between them was soothing as they held onto each other. Merlin knew she had fallen asleep when her shaky breaths turned into slow and steady ones. Soon his breathing matched hers and he too fell asleep. The candles were now only piles of melted wax.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow. I'm on fire! Lucky you! Three chapters in two days! Well, this one is shorter than the rest, but I wasn't planning on making this one too long, just enough for you all to get the gist of it. In the future I'll start to do something similar to this chapter, which is transitioning the narration to follow Morgana for short bits at a time, just so you get the whole meaning of my story. Also, I've fixed some minor errors in the past chapters, so I mean you can go back and re-read the other chapters if you want, but it wasn't enough to change the overall story. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

Ever since she was a child, Morgana suffered from nightmares. Nightmares that made her lose sleep, nightmares that made her wake up in tears, and nightmares that made her never want to sleep again. She had even thought a time or two about ending her own life just so that the dreams would stop. They worsened as she got older. There was not one night where she didn't go without dreaming something awful. When she was a child the dreams were always about monsters, creatures of the dark that would take her away. Recently they had been about the people she loves meeting tragic ends, sometimes by her own hand. And even more recently, some of her nightmares have come true. Morgana was petrified that these visions would be discovered and Uther would have her killed for sorcery.

It was only until Merlin confessed to having magic that she felt as though she had someone to trust. Oh, she trusted Guinevere with her life, but she would _never_ have burdened her with her secret. Merlin introduced to her a world she couldn't begin to imagine. Magic made everything beautiful. Morgana began to view her surroundings quite differently. She could see the fabric of magic woven into life all around her, and it gave her new understanding. She cherished every session where she would learn magic from Merlin. It was the only thing that kept her from worrying about the transgressions of the real world. As long as she was in Gaius's room with Merlin and the book of spells propped up between them, she could forget about everything. Merlin made her feel safe and wanted, truly wanted. She always watched Merlin when he wasn't looking. She saw a brave, selfless, compassionate young man who she adored deeply. He was always taking care of her, even if it was in the smallest of ways.

And she loved using magic. It was the thrill of having power over the order of things. Secretly, Morgana greatly enjoyed that her magic had to grow from Merlin's. She loved the feeling of his magic spreading through her body like a wildfire whenever they touched. It was almost a disappointment when Merlin had said one evening, "Well, I think your magic is strong enough so we don't have to help it along anymore!" He was so excited, in complete contrast to what Morgana was feeling. Ever since she had started to notice the fire between them, her nightmares were not as vivid, dulled as she would have described. Her dreams were still horrible, but not as intense as she remembered them being.

When Morgana had used her magic on Merlin in the forest she was terrified that he would be wounded by her own means. How relieved she was when he was as unharmed as he was. Then the incident with the doe occurred and she had never been so afraid of herself. _What kind of person am I, to lose control like that?_ Morgana couldn't handle her failure, especially in the way that it happened. It was such a comfort to her when Merlin held her against him. His familiar musky scent brought her out of her hysterics just long enough to ask him to take her back to the castle.

Morgana was a little nervous, despite the state that she was in, when Merlin agreed to stay with her. She didn't know quite what she was asking, because it was all on an impulse. She needed him near. He was her anchor. Her heart jumped when he got into bed next to her. She couldn't help but lay against him as she did. He was safety. He was familiarity. Morgana closed her eyes tightly as she played with the fabric of his shirt and tried to block out the images of the suffering doe. _I know this is going to haunt me tonight, _she thought. _At least I'll have Merlin here when I wake up._ She soon fell asleep to the caress of Merlin's breath on her cheek.

Morgana awoke drowsily. She was still tangled in her embrace with Merlin, who was fast asleep. She lifted her head to peer out of a window. It was still dark outside. She couldn't see the clock, but she assumed it was near midnight or later. She tilted her head back to look up at the snoozing young man who was still holding her in his sleep. He looked so peaceful, so innocent. Morgana's heart reached out to his in that moment. He was beautiful, especially in sleep, where no sign of his troubles were on his face. She slowly raised up a hand and lightly stroked his jaw.

She snuggled up closer to him, careful not to disturb his resting body. She had never felt more at peace than she had in a very, very long time. Her mind began to wander over to thoughts of tomorrow and what Merlin is like in the mornings, is he a morning person or not? Is he groggy or cheerful? She was almost tired enough to fall back into sleep when she tensed up with realization.

She hadn't drempt.

**So, have any of you noticed what I'm doing to their relationship? Ten points if you recognize it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I cannot express how much I love writing this! Almost as much as I love reading your reviews! Also, I'm hoping you all noticed what I'm making their relationship out to be...It becomes clear in this one, or at least I hope it does...Anyways, I think it's necessary for how I planned out my story. Anyways, enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

Merlin sighed a long, deep sigh and stretched out his legs as he woke up. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times, forgetting where he was for a moment.

"Awake are we?" came Morgana's sweet voice somewhere close to him.

"Morgana?" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. There was dim morning sunlight streaming through the windows. It must be very early, he assumed.

"Well whose bed did you think you were sleeping in?"

Merlin turned his head and squinted his eyes, trying to find her. He felt fingers being run slowly through his hair, nails lightly scratching at his scalp. It felt amazing.

They were in a much different position than the one they had fallen asleep in. Morgana was still folded around him, but at a different angle. She was curled up on her side almost horizontally on the bed while Merlin's head was resting somewhere between her chest and her stomach. He was still on his back, one arm splayed across his stomach, the other somewhere under Morgana.

Morgana kept playing with his hair while he tried to come up with a reason as to how they had gotten into the fixture that they were in.

"Umm…how did you sleep?" he asked feebly.

Morgana sighed and he felt her breath float down on him, "I slept for a little while, but I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Was it another nightmare?" he asked lightly, staring up at the bed's canopy top. Morgana's fingers paused for a moment in his hair.

"Not exactly…no."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Morgana hesitated.

"No, that's alright. But how did you sleep?" she asked in a cheery voice as she swiftly slid back down to Merlin's side, their bodies pressing tightly together as she settled. Merlin blushed and tried to scoot away without offending her, but couldn't because his arm was still pinned under her body.

"I slept fine," he managed. He wasn't sure if Morgana didn't notice his blushing, or if she was ignoring it altogether. "I mean, it's a _much_ comfier bed than mine."

"Mmm…I imagine."

Merlin turned his head back to look up at the canopy again. He caught Morgana watching him out of the corner of his eye and swallowed. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Uhm…" She rolled over to look at the clock on the wall. His hand was directly under her butt now. He froze, hoping she didn't notice where it was, because he was sure he'd lose his hand if she had. Luckily, she didn't seem to register, and rolled back over to him.

"It's about five thirty."

"What time does Gwen usually come in?"

Morgana's eyes widened, "Oh my gosh! I completely forgot about her! Finding us, I mean!" She became very agitated. "Um, sue usually comes in a little before six…"

Merlin jerked up. "I should get going then." Morgana sat up slowly as he scooted himself off of the bed. He knelt down to pull on his boots and lace them up.

The door opened suddenly and Gwen entered in carrying a silver breakfast tray. Morgana froze. Merlin quickly swooped down to the ground and slid under the bed.

"Good morning, my lady. You're up early."

"Yes," he heard Morgana reply tensely.

"Did you sleep in that?" Gwen's voice was half confused, half guilty.

Merlin watched Gwen's feet as she moved closer to where Morgana was sitting on the bed. He noticed his jacket slumped on the ground near the edge of the table. He whispered a quiet spell and the jacket moved itself under the table and out of Gwen's line of sight.

"Um, I did…I was just too tired to change."

"Well, my lady, as you know, I'm more than willing to stay later if you need me to."

"Oh, no that's quite alright. Gwen, could you light the fire? It's a bit cold in here."

"Of course, my lady."

Merlin knew this was his escape. As quietly as he could, he came out from under the bed when Gwen was kneeling over the fire grate. He was almost to the door when he realized that his jacket was still under the table.

"Oh, Merlin! I didn't hear you come in, you scared me!" Gwen was walking over to him from the fire, clearly startled. Merlin and Morgana both tensed.

"I—uh…" Merlin gulped. "Last night," he began, "I was, uh, restocking the firewood and I forgot my jacket!" The girls stared at him, Morgana in worry, Gwen in confusion. He strode over to the table and pulled it out. "Here it is!" Merlin faced Morgana and bowed, "My lady," nodded at Gwen, and hurried towards the exit, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Arthur wakes up much later than Morgana, thankfully, so Merlin had time to get himself cleaned up. As he reached Gaius's chambers he tried to come up with an excuse for being out all night, because he knew Gaius would be cross with him. Merlin, as slowly and quietly as possible, cracked open the door and peered inside. He could hear Gaius's snores from there. He sighed an inward sigh of relief and snuck into his room. As he sat on his small bed he pulled off his dirty clothing and tossed them aside. And then he lay there until it was time to go attend Arthur.

"Merlin!" Arthur snapped his fingers in front of his servant's face."

"Huh? I mean, yes?" The look on Arthur's face was incredulous.

"What's the matter with you today? It's like your mind is someplace else."

"Nope, not at all, sire. My mind's all here."

"Then how come my shirt is on backwards?"

"I—uh…" Arthur glared at him as Merlin helped him switch it around.

"Okay, Merlin, what is it?"

Merlin stepped back. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on. You look like a lost puppy. What's wrong?"

"There's nothing to tell. Honestly." Arthur scoffed.

"Well, whatever it is, it better not distract you from your chores."

"Of course not, sire. I wouldn't dream of it," he said sarcastically. Arthur whacked him upside the head. "Ow!" He rubbed his head. "What was that for?"

"For being you, Merlin," Arthur said with a smile. "You can go, I'm done with you for now."

"Thank you, sire," he managed through his clenched teeth and bowed before leaving.

The rest of his day was as exciting as ever. Chores, chores, and more chores. Most of them were in disciplinary form, given to him by Gaius for being out too late. The highlight of his day was falling into bed so exhausted, that he was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

"Take this to Sir Leon for me, Merlin. His cough is returning." It was that time again. After lunch was Merlin's designated time to act as Gaius's mule, delivering potions all throughout the castle.

"Okay." Merlin grabbed the bottle containing bright blue liquid and plopped it into his pocket. "Any specific instructions for this one?"

Gaius waved him off, "No, Leon's taken this many times, he knows how to use it."

"Right." And he was off.

Merlin admired Sir Leon. He was the only knight that he was actually fond of. After a good workout, Merlin finally reached Leon's chambers. He handed the potion to the shaggy headed knight and started his journey back to Gaius for another assignment. He spotted Morgana walking towards him as he trekked down a long narrow corridor. He perked up.

"Good afternoon, my lady," he said as they got closer. Morgana grabbed his arm and dragged him off to the side into a storage room. Merlin was highly confused, because they tried to avoid each other in public.

"Merlin, can I ask a favor of you?" She spoke low as if she was worried someone might overhear her, despite that they were the only ones in the room.

"Sure. What is it?" Morgana looked anywhere but his face.

"Can you stay with me again tonight?" Merlin drew his eyebrows together in consideration.

"Of course. Is there a reason, or…?"

Morgana swallowed, "I just have this…this _theory_ to test."

"What's your theory?" She pursed her lips.

"I'm not entirely sure of it yet myself."

Merlin tried to shrug off the uneasiness of her request. "Well, at least I get to sleep in a comfy bed again!"

Morgana managed a small smile and stepped back out through the small doorway. "I'll see you tonight, then?"

He nodded and she quickly walked away. He wondered what her theory could be. Especially a theory that involved him sleeping with her…

It was just after the sun had set in the west when Gaius ran out of errands for Merlin.

"Well, I'm going to turn in now, Gaius. Good night!" He climbed up the steps to his bedroom and closed the door tightly behind him. He didn't have to wait long until he heard Gaius's loud snores in the other room. Merlin snuck out as quietly as he could and headed for Morgana's room.

He decided to knock because he wasn't sure just how late Gwen stayed with Morgana.

"Come in!" he heard Morgana call from inside. He pushed in the door and entered her chambers.

Morgana was lying under the sheets, in a white nightgown, reading a small leather book. Merlin closed the door gently behind him and walked over to the wooden table. He slid off his jacket, draped it over a chair, and kicked off his books and socks. Morgana was peering at him from behind her book, studying his movements.

"So. Do you want to tell me what this theory is now? I'd love to know." He walked around to the other side of the bed and rolled on top of the sheets and landed next to her on his back.

"No. I told you I'll tell you once I'm sure of it." She closed her book with a _snap_ and tossed it onto the bedside table.

"Okay," he said disappointedly. Morgana turned onto her side so that she was facing him. She pursed her lips.

"You don't have to sleep on top of the sheets, Merlin. I know you aren't going to try anything."

His face flushed. "I know, but it feels…weird…" He felt awkward and childish saying it, despite how true it was.

"What? You've never shared a bed with a girl before?" She wiggled an eyebrow teasingly.

"Other than you? No." Merlin caught something glimmer in Morgana's eyes, but he couldn't pin down exactly what he thought it was. Something close to pride is how he would have described it.

"Well," she said dramatically, "If you've never shared a bed with a girl, then I shall show you the proper way to do it." Merlin knew she was toying with him, or at least he hoped she was. "First, you get under the sheets."

Merlin swallowed. "I'd rather not…"

Morgana made a small fake gasping noise, "Are you denying a direct order from the _king's ward_?" He couldn't help but break into a smile at the way she said it.

"I guess not." He drew his knees up to his chest and slid them under the sheets. The bed was even more comfortable than he imagined. He tried to make himself focus on the amazing bed more than the girl next to him. Merlin wasn't sure of Morgana's intentions, but she was certainly making him feel out of place. He rolled onto his side so that he was facing her.

"Good. Now, you make room for the girl." He didn't quite understand.

"What do you mean?"

"Here." Merlin felt tingles as her cold fingers grasped his wrist and guided his arm out from under the covers. She sat up and placed his arm so that it was parallel with the pillows and settled down close to him, resting her head on his bicep. Merlin wasn't going to deny that he didn't enjoy being this close to such a beautiful girl, but it felt _wrong_ in a way.

Merlin pulled his head back. "So you've done this before? With someone else, I mean?"

Morgana laughed. "No. But in all of my romantic novels, this is usually how they sleep."

Romantic. Did she say _romantic_? Merlin's insides froze. Did Morgana think…? Was this her theory then? To see if Merlin felt anything towards her? He himself didn't know what he felt. Sure, there was the prophecy to consider, but he didn't have feelings for her _now_.

Morgana repositioned herself so that the tip of her nose was touching his collarbone. She put both of her hands at his chest and yawned. Merlin didn't know what to do. Did he need to go along with it, for the prophecy's sake? Did he need to push her away? He knew nothing when it came to girls. And certainly not _this_ girl. So he did what felt natural to him, which was to wrap his other arm around Morgana like he had the other night when he was comforting her. He stayed like that for a long time, wallowing in his confusion, as Morgana slept.

And on the brink of his unconsciousness, he could have sworn he felt Morgana's lips press to his throat and heard her whisper, "Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello again! A semi-short chapter for you here! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9**

Merlin opened his eyes. He was still wrapped around Morgana in the same position they had fallen asleep in. It was dark so he assumed he had only been asleep for a few hours at most. He considered the girl asleep in his arms. She was snoozing against his chest; her breathing was slow and steady. Her breath tickled his bare throat.

His thoughts trailed on and on until they reached what Morgana had said about her "theory." What _was_ it? "Let's see how awkward I can make Merlin feel in one night?" Knowing Morgana, that _could_ be her theory.

Merlin let it go for now. His limbs were feeling rather stiff because he hadn't changed his posture in a while. He flexed his arms out a bit, rolled his shoulders, and bent his knees, trying to stretch every part of his body. Morgana began to stir. _Oops_, he thought. She curled her toes against his ankles and nuzzled her head against him as she moaned softly.

"Morgana?" he whispered. No reply. He tried again, "Are you awake?"

"I'm trying very hard not to be," came her muffled response.

"Morgana, we have to talk," he persisted.

"Not now," she whined.

"Yes, now." He untangled himself from Morgana and scooted away so that there was about a foot of empty space in between them. Morgana made a frustrated groaning noise as she curled face down into a ball.

"_What_?" she asked, irritated. Her face was pressed into the pillow, her dark curls splayed out haphazardly down her back.

"Your theory." He tried to say it lightly since she obviously wasn't in the mood.

"What about it?" Her garbled voice was almost humorous to Merlin, but he knew that it would be a bad idea to laugh at her at this time.

"I want to know why you needed me to stay with you to test it." She didn't say anything for a long time. He thought she had fallen back asleep. Finally, she rolled onto her side and faced him.

"You know I've always had nightmares." It was a statement, not a question, but Merlin nodded anyways. "Well that night you stayed with me after the…anyways, you stayed with me and—and I didn't dream, Merlin. Not once. Every night for as long as I can remember, I've always dreamed. Except that night." Her eyes bore into his own, and he had never seen such intensity before.

"So…the theory—"

"I didn't think much about it at first," she interrupted, "I just thought that it was a coincidence or something. But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if it had anything to do with the way our magic _connects_ the way it does. The next night I had the most horrible of nightmares. I wanted to see if you were the reason they went away, like they had that night. And—and I think you are." Merlin couldn't find a response to that. At least her theory wasn't what he thought it was. "So you see, you keep the dreams away." Morgana reached over to him and stroked his cheek once, then let her hand drop to the space between them.

"But…How do you know for sure? Why don't you see if they come back tomorrow night without me here to be certain?" Morgana's eyes widened.

"You want me to risk having nightmares again? No."

"Well…" He didn't know what to say. Morgana decided to fill the silence. She looked anywhere but his face.

"What I was going to ask you, if my idea was correct…was if you would keep staying with me…" Merlin was surprised by her offer. "I mean, it's not only the dreams," she quickly said, disgruntled by his silence, "it's nice when you're here, Merlin. It feels…right." Merlin swallowed. As a friend he wanted to say yes, wholeheartedly, to help her with her suffering, but at the same time he was afraid that he would be giving her the wrong idea if he agreed. "Please, Merlin." She locked her gaze on to his, there were tears forming at the corners. "I've been trying to find a way to get rid of them for the longest time. They terrify me."

Merlin's heart couldn't take it. He drew her into his arms and whispered, "I will," he rested his chin on her forehead. Morgana didn't cry much before she pulled out of their embrace to wipe her eyes with the heel of her hand.

"There is one problem though," Morgana said.

"What?"

"Gwen."

"Make that two. Gaius."

Morgana exhaled, frustrated.

"One, or both, is going to find out."

"See, Gaius is the easy one. I can just tell him that Arthur's been making me stay out late and get up early for extra chores."

"But Gwen…"

Merlin thought for a moment. "Can't we just tell her? I mean, she's your maid, you can order her not to say anything."

Morgana bit her lip. "Gwen wouldn't say anything because she a friend above all else, it's just…it would be a bit awkward, telling her, don't you think?"

"Oh, I dunno, 'Yeah Gwen, don't freak out if you find a man in my bed, it's just Merlin.' Yeah, that sounds about right." Morgana giggled.

"I'm sure we could tell her, it's just the _reason_ we'd have to give her for your presence is what worries me."

Merlin sighed, "I'm sure you'll come up with something."

"What? How come I have to?"

"Well, I have to worry about Gaius!" Morgana glared at him.

"Fine. But you have to go along with what I say though."

"Sure," he shrugged.

"I'll tell her you're my lover," she smirked.

"What—I—_what_?"

She laughed, high and clear. "You said for _me_ to come up with something, so there you go."

"But…but how is that the best explanation?" She raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Honestly, Merlin, she's going to ask why you're sharing a _bed_ with me. I can't just say it's because you're keeping that side warm for me."

"But…"

"What? Are you embarrassed to be my pretend lover?" There was a hint of seriousness behind her mock offense. There was no correct answer to this question, so Merlin groaned and rolled face down into the pillows as Morgana had been moments ago. She patted his back in fake sympathy.

"Come on, it won't be that bad. I hear I'm a very attractive lady."

"Mmmph," came his response. Morgana curled up next to him and rubbed his back. Merlin knew he shouldn't let her keep touching him like that, but it was so relaxing that he decided to let it slide.

"Unless you can come up with something better, that seems to be the best explanation for someone who doesn't know that we have magic." Merlin pulled his head up from the pillows to look her in the eye.

"Fine. But you have to tell her. And not when I'm in the room."

"Deal."

He buried his face back into the pillows. Morgana continued to rub his back until they were both overcome by sleep once more.


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't know why, but for some reason this chapter was giving me the hardest time! Anyways, I hope you like it! I love reading your reviews, especially the ones where you kind of guess what's going to happen and I get to cackle like a maniac because I know things you don't. Be sure to follow me on tumblr if you have one! I love talking to you guys on there! I've actually had some good conversations with a few of you (; Enjoy!**

**Chapter 10**

"Well, what kind of chores are they?" Gaius asked, bewildered.

"Essential ones, apparently." Merlin had just returned from Morgana's room after their night together.

"I just can't imagine Arthur making you do this."

"He has his reasons, I'm sure." Merlin was explaining the source behind his future absences. Gaius raised an unconvinced eyebrow.

"Is there something wrong, Merlin? You don't normally defend Arthur in such a way… Especially not with your chores."

"Nope, everything's fine. Just fine."

"Well, just make sure you get _some_ sleep."

"Oh, I will," Merlin mumbled.

He went to his room, gather what he needed, and made for the kitchens to bring Arthur his breakfast. As he neared his master's quarters, he didn't bother to knock, only to open the door without pausing. He shut the door behind him rather loudly and set the silver tray he had been holding on the wooden table in the center of the room. Merlin walked over to the window and yanked apart the thick curtains, allowing vibrant sunlight to fill the room.

"Rise and shine, my lord!" he said cheerily. Arthur groaned and put his hand over his face to block out the blinding sun.

"Shut those curtains, Merlin, if you know what's good for you." Merlin walked over to the bed, but knew by now not to stand within Arthur's reach.

"You have the knighting ceremony in a few hours and then the banquet tonight for the consul." Arthur groaned again and pushed back the covers. He stood and stretched, then walked over to the silver tray in a sleeplike trance. He picked up an apple and bit into it as he plopped down in his chair. Merlin was going through Arthur's wardrobe, pulling out the assorted clothing for a ceremony.

"How did you sleep?" Merlin decided Arthur was awake enough now to hold a conversation.

"Not well," he said with a mouth full of apple. "I kept hearing a banging noise all night. See to it that it stops, would you, Merlin?"

"Yes, sire." He held up two belts to Arthur. "Black one or brown one?"

Merlin had made sure that Arthur was fed, properly dressed, and was on his way to the knighting ceremony in the throne room. Merlin always attended these types of ceremonies, but stood in the back of the crowd with Gaius or Gwen. He was actually hoping to avoid Gwen for a while, because Morgana had told him that she was going to tell her their "secret," and he didn't want awkward conversations any time soon. But alas, the servants all tended to stand together in these ordeals, and Merlin found himself standing directly next to Gwen along the wall. He prayed that she wouldn't bring it up, and she didn't. Not once. She had even said a polite "goodbye" as she followed Morgana out. He exhaled a sigh of relief then jogged over to Arthur, who was shaking hands with a new knight on his way out.

"I told them that they could use you for setting up, so just make sure you're in my chambers to get me ready for the banquet," Arthur said to Merlin when they had entered the wide corridor leading from the throne room.

"Yes, sire."

Merlin moved tables around, set out tableware, organized decorations, and many other tasks in preparation for the party. A consulman and his family from King Odin's court was traveling to Camelot to discuss business such as land ownership, taxes, and many other boring things that Arthur had explained to Merlin. The banquet tonight was a gesture of good faith upon their arrival. Merlin wasn't big on banquets, so he told Arthur that he was feeling rather ill in order to get out of it. He knew that a banquet held for important people meant Arthur using him as the butts of his jokes to impress whatever higher man he was talking to at the moment.

"Alright, just don't you dare cough on me," Arthur said in slight disgust as Merlin held out his red leather jacket to be put on. Merlin patted down the leather, making sure there were no creases or hairs or anything of the sort.

"Anything else, my lord?" Merlin asked as he stepped back.

"No. You can go. You'd better be well by tomorrow, because my room needs a good scrub."

"Yes, sire," Merlin said tersely and left the room.

Merlin had been sitting in front of the small fireplace in Gaius's chambers for hours, not thinking about anything in particular. All he did was make different shapes appear in the fire when he wanted. He was just waiting until it was the right time to head for Morgana's chambers for the night.

Merlin was still indifferent about his feelings towards Morgana. When he thought of her, he didn't think about them having a relationship outside of the one they had now. The nights that they had spent together unnerved him some, but as long as they were helping Morgana, he wanted to stay. He would do absolutely anything for her because his care for her was deep and true.

He didn't bother to turn around when he heard Gaius come in.

"Ah, I've found you! I wondered why you weren't at the banquet." It was in fact not Gaius's voice, but Morgana's.

"Morgana!" he said as he stood. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, obviously." She strode over to him and smiled.

"Shouldn't you be at the party?"

She shrugged. "I was becoming extremely annoyed with the amount of boasting from both parties, so I excused myself." Merlin grinned. "I was hoping to find you alone, actually, because I wanted to ask if you'd accompany me to my room. Their conversations wore me out."

"Oh, so you're using me now?"

"Well, what else are you good for?" Merlin chuckled and he held out his arm and Morgana smiled as she looped hers around it.

They walked slowly, arm in arm, to Morgana's chamber.

"So I was thinking," Morgana said.

"About what?"

"Well, since you'll be staying with me from now on, I think we could start _studying_ in there. And more often, if you want." He smiled wide.

"Yeah, that's perfect."

They continued down the corridor in silence until Merlin asked, "So how did Gwen take your news?"

Morgana sighed, "Good. She didn't seem troubled by it." Merlin nodded, relieved.

"So I'll be staying later in the mornings then? I mean, I won't have to leave early, since she'd be expecting to find me there?" Merlin was growing increasingly vexed by having to wake up a good hour earlier to avoid meeting Gwen on accident again.

She smiled. "Yes, you can stay later." Merlin grinned back and they came around a corner. They caught sight of a figure that perked up when it saw them and started their way.

"Oh, great," groaned Morgana.

"Who is it?"

"The consulman's son, Madric. He's been after me this whole night!" Morgana leaned in to speak softer to Merlin, "He's the most dreadful man. All he talks about is how much money he has, or how many women want him to marry them." Madric was coming closer. "Arthur was having a hard time keeping his wits about him."

"What do you mean?" he whispered.

Morgana smirked. "He looked as if he wanted to strangle him the entire night. Believe me, _I_ would strangle him just to escape another conversation." Madric had approached them now and stared at Morgana, ignoring Merlin altogether.

"My lady," he bowed slightly, "I had wondered where you'd run off to. I was missing your company." The man turned to Merlin now, superiority on his face. "You may go. I can take over from here." Merlin hadn't known him for more than a minute, and his irritation level was already climbing steadily.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, my lord."

"Excuse me?" he asked, taken aback. Morgana eyed him with a queer expression.

"The lady Morgana is unwell, and I'm taking her to her chambers to rest."

"Unwell? How so?"

Merlin sighed impatiently. "Drunk."

"Drunk?"

"Yes. I found her talking to a tapestry. It was a lovely conversation, really, but I didn't want anyone else to find her in such a state."

"Right…" he said slowly as Morgana smiled innocently at him. "Well, carry on then." Merlin nodded and guided Morgana around the confused man, and down the corridor.

"_Drunk_?" Morgana asked indignantly as soon as they were in the safety of her chambers. "Of all the excuses, you chose to tell him that I was drunk?" Merlin shrugged.

"It worked, didn't it?" She scowled and walked over to the wooden table, muttering as she went.

"Gwen won't be coming in tonight, I gave her the night off."

"Okay," he said as he came further into the room. And then realized what it also meant. "Oh. Uh, I'll just stand over here until you're finished," he made a gesture towards her with his hands, "you know, changing." Morgana couldn't help but smile to herself at the awkward air that Merlin always seems to bring. Merlin walked over to the corner near the door and faced the wall, fumbling with the end of his shirt. Morgana couldn't think of anything to say, so she opened her wardrobe, selected a nightgown and stood behind the divider.

"Um…Merlin?" she called out. He swallowed. "I—er, hate to ask this of you, but I can't quite reach the knot on my back…" her voice sounded strained as if she was trying to reach it as she was speaking. Merlin slowly walked over to her and looked up at the ceiling as he untied the small knot at the top of her dress. "Thank you." He walked away quickly, feeling thoroughly embarrassed. He decided to lie down, so, after removing his boots, he threw aside the excess pillows and rolled onto what he knew as his side of the bed. He lay there until Morgana mirrored his actions and buried herself under the sheets with a sigh. She looked over at Merlin who had been quiet the whole time. "Have you fallen asleep, Merlin?" He didn't answer, because he had in fact, fallen asleep. Morgana smiled and snuggled up against his back. It didn't take long for the excitement of the day to toll on her as well.

* * *

"Good morning, my—Oh my God!" Gwen looked at the sleeping pair with the look of complete and utter shock. "_Merlin_?" They were both staring wide eyed at Gwen, awoken suddenly from their sleep.

"Oh, uh, hi Gwen." Merlin said with a small smile.

"_Hi_?" Merlin frowned in confusion.

"What are you doing here?"

"Gwen," Morgana said hastily. Gwen looked at her as if she had not noticed her until then.

"My lady! I'm so very sorry, I shouldn't speak about things that don't concern me."

"It's okay."

"_I thought you told her_," Merlin whispered as he scooted away. Morgana didn't answer.

"Told me what?" asked Gwen, raising an eyebrow.

Merlin slid off the bed and pulled on his boots. "I'll uh, see you later," and made hastily for the exit.

"Merlin!" Morgana called after him. He cursed to himself and faced her. "Come back," she said rather sternly.

"But you said I didn't have to be here for it!" he said desperately.

"I changed my mind." He sighed loudly and unnecessarily as he stomped back over to her.

"My lady, what's going on?" Morgana looked to Merlin for help, but he avoided her gaze.

"Um, you might want to sit, Gwen." Gwen gave her a troubled look, but reluctantly sat in the wooden chair that she had set the silver tray in front of. Merlin leaned against the bed post and stared at his shoes. "Well, you see…" Merlin could tell that Morgana obviously hadn't planned on what she was going to say to Gwen yet.

"We're seeing each other," Merlin finished the sentence, trying to save Morgana. Both girls stared at him.

"Is that true, my lady?" Gwen seemed rather calm. Morgana nodded. "Well, I'm glad you told me, at least," she said standing and smoothed down the front of her dress.

Morgana stood and took Gwen's hands, "I didn't want to lie to you, Gwen, but you must understand that no one can know about this." Gwen glanced at Merlin, thinking the same thing that he was: her relationship with Arthur.

"Of course not, my lady." Gwen turned to Merlin. "Merlin? I need to speak with you." Merlin straightened and stole a worried look at Morgana.

"Oh, I've really got to get to Arthur—"

"I'm sure he's not awake yet." She grabbed him by the wrist roughly and led him out of the room.

"Ow," he complained.

"Okay Merlin, how long has _that_," she gestured to Morgana's door, "been going on?"

"Not long." Gwen scowled at him.

"I've known Morgana for a long time, and if you do anything to her, Merlin—"

Merlin threw up his arms. He wasn't even in a real relationship with Morgana!

"I just don't want to see her hurt, Merlin," she said quietly. Merlin considered her. She was one of Morgana's only friends, and a true friend at that.

"Neither do I."

Deeming his response adequate enough, she sighed and left him standing alone in the hallway. He blew out a breath of air, glad to be relieved from the whole confrontation. He collected his thoughts and walked as slowly as possible to Arthur's room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone! I hope you like this chapter! So Christmas break is coming up soon, so that either means that you'll be getting a lot of chapters...or maybe fewer than you'd like...Anyways, I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 11**

From that day forward, Merlin stayed with Morgana every night. They had no trouble with Gwen or Gaius. To make sure that Gaius was still inconspicuous, Merlin had Morgana continue to request that he made her sleeping draught. But whenever Gaius gave it to Merlin to deliver, he would simply dump the contents and return the empty vial. Merlin felt a tad regretful for making Gaius go through the process of brewing a potion when it wasn't needed, but it believed it to be of the greatest importance that Gaius never found out that he told Morgana about his magic.

Ever since Merlin had begun to stay with her, she had a new freshness to her life, lightness to her step. The air she breathed seemed to satisfy her lungs more. Merlin filled her with joy that she couldn't find elsewhere. Gwen had noticed it right away and was affected greatly by it. She was happy because Morgana was happy. Even Uther picked up on it. He noted several times at their frequent dinners that she looked better than she ever had before.

Merlin and Morgana practiced their magic almost every night. They would sit on the cold stone floors facing each other, Merlin reading her a spell from his book of magic, and Morgana either repeated it back to him, explained what it did, or performed it. Morgana took care of her magic, nurtured and encouraged it, and had not lost control of her magic since the incident with the doe. She and Merlin worked tirelessly to find an explanation for her mishap, but came up empty handed.

Morgana was a constant reminder to Merlin that magic is a wonder to behold. He could see it on her face every time a spell left her lips. It was in that realization that he recognized that the act of him telling Morgana about his magic was one of the very best decisions he had ever made.

As the days passed, Merlin became more and more comfortable with staying with Morgana every night. The first few nights he hadn't the faintest clue what was considered appropriate or not in sharing a bed with a girl. It didn't take long, however, for him to grow fond of their tangled limbs, familiar fire, and steady breathing.

Gwen would always arrive in the mornings as quietly as possible, in order not to wake them from their sleep. She found their embraces charming, and slightly envious, because she was longing for something very similar with Arthur. However desperately she wanted to share a bond like that with him, she knew it would never happen.

Merlin loved to make Morgana smile, to joke and tease. The sound of her laughter was charming music to him. It was familiar and it reminded him of everything good in the world. The only way he survived his hoard of chores was the anticipation of being with her at the end of every day.

They believed all was well until a problem came up, something they for some reason hadn't planned for. Arthur was about to journey to investigate the suspicion of the use of sorcery in an outlying village, and Merlin was travelling with him. It first dawned on Morgana what it had meant. She had grown so dependent on Merlin to keep away her nightmares that she had no idea what she was going to do. And the fact that her very nightmares, the ones that she had finally found a cure for, were returning, even if only for a short time, made her increasingly panicked. She couldn't just make herself stay awake for a week straight, which would do her no good.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked softly as he grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You're leaving and I—my dreams," she gulped. Merlin knew he couldn't begin to understand just how much her dreams terrified her, but nonetheless he tried to help calm her.

"Come here." He led her over to the large bed and sat with her on the edge of the mattress and took her hands in his own. "When I was younger I would sometimes have dreams, like yours, but quite not like yours. They were never reoccurring, just occasional. But when I would have them, they scared me so much that I would wake up in tears." Merlin spoke as he looked down at their hands. "So my mother would come to me at night and sit with me," he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, "like this. She would tell me to think about the stars. She told me to think about how impossible they are. That they're bright when everything is dark, and that they never go away, never end." Merlin paused for a moment to look into directly into her eyes. "My mother told me that stars were things of magic, like me, because both of us are impossible to understand. And then she told me that family looks after one another, that the stars would protect me from my bad dreams."

"Did it help?"

Merlin sighed. "Well, I still sometimes had nightmares, but it comforted me enough so that I wasn't afraid to go back to sleep." Morgana squeezed his hands.

"Thank you." He smiled sadly at her and drew her in for an embrace. "When do you leave?"

"Dawn."

"When will you be back?"

"Ten days at the latest."

Morgana closed her eyes. She knew that Merlin didn't know just what she went through every single night of her life. To be given a gift such as Merlin, having just a taste of real peace, then that gift being taken away, even for a short time, was the most petrifying thing for Morgana to imagine. However, she was deeply grateful for his attempt at consoling her, because it did comfort her, in a way.

"You need sleep." Merlin broke her out of her trance. Neither of them changed their clothes, they just rolled onto the bed and held fast to each other until Morgana awoke to find Merlin's side of the bed empty.

* * *

"My lady? What's the matter?" Gwen had come in and found Morgana leaning against the windowsill looking positively distressed. She turned to her concerned maid and smiled.

"Nothing." The smile almost instantly disappeared as Gwen went to make the bed.

"You can tell me anything, my lady."

"Thank you, Gwen."

Gwen finished her chores and Morgana granted her the rest of the day off, so she exited in solemn silence. For the rest of the day Morgana remained in her chambers. She tried to snap herself out of it. _Why am I so upset about this?_ she thought, _I've had nightmares every night, why am I worrying about it so much?_ And then she remembered just how terror-inspiring those dreams had been, _will be_. It was a bitter thing to think, but Morgana wondered if she only cared so much about Merlin was because he stopped the dreams. _Nonsense,_ she told herself,_ I cared for him before I even knew that he made them go away._

And care for him she did. Morgana drank in every moment she shared with Merlin. He made her feel so very loved and appreciated. She noticed everything he did, every small detail. The way he scratched behind his ear when he was uncomfortable, the way his breathing deepened when he fell asleep, the way he said her name. Her heart ached for him to miraculously return before the night began. She feared what the darkness would bring.

Morgana curled into a ball on her side of the bed and thought about what Merlin had said about the stars. Hearing his voice in her memory was soothing to her soul. She just rested there and thought only about Merlin and the stars. He would be sleeping under the same stars, she thought, and it gave her a little comfort. Morgana slid off the bed and padded barefoot over to the window. It was a cloudy night. There were no stars to be found.

* * *

The mist enveloped her, it dragged her from his arms.

"Merlin!" she shouted desperately as the fog in between them thickened. It clogged her senses, suffocating her. She couldn't hear his reply, if he had replied at all. For all she knew, he could be drowning in the fog as well. It entered her lungs and she couldn't breathe. She groped for breath, but found none. The white mist turned black and soon the darkness had overcome her and—Morgana opened her eyes. She sat up gasping for breath and was immensely relieved when it came. She fell back amongst the pillows coughing and gulping as much air as she could get. Wiping at her tear stained cheeks, she stared at the empty side of the bed. She reached across the sheets and gripped the cold fabric, clenching and unclenching her fist multiple times.

Morgana needed Merlin. She needed him to hold her. She needed him to stroke her hair the way she loved it. She needed him to tell her not to worry, that he would always be there for her. Morgana decided that it was useless to try to sleep anymore, so she dragged one of the wooden chairs over to the window and leaned against the windowsill. She sat there, waiting for the sun, waiting for Gwen to arrive.

Morgana did her best to distract herself so that she wouldn't think about the impending night. It worked, for about an hour or so. Being the king's ward, she didn't quite have specific responsibilities or duties, so she quickly found herself with nothing to do. She mostly stuck to her chambers chatting with Gwen or took short strolls throughout the castle. She even considered drinking her sleeping potion that Merlin normally threw out, though she knew it wouldn't help.

When evening came again, she lay folded on the bed and clenched her eyes shut, focusing only on the fact that Merlin would be back soon to deliver her from this fear and pain. Unwillingly, she fell asleep.

* * *

It was a joyous time for Morgana. There was brilliant golden sunlight filtered through the tree branches, creating strange patterns on the forest floor. It was the first time she had seen Merlin for a long time. He whole being squealed with happiness. She ran to him and the force of their embrace knocked them both to the ground. She was lying completely on him, her curls covered their faces like a curtain.

"Morgana!" he exclaimed. Morgana was crying tears of pure joy as her arms locked around his neck tightened and pulled him closer. She had never felt such excitement and relief in her entire existence. The wind was cold as it blew against them, swirling leaves this way and that. Merlin placed his hands on her waist to push her away so that he could look her in the eye. He was about to say something to her, his eyes bore the look of complete bewilderment. Morgana stopped him up short by planting a kiss full on the mouth. He tensed up, but after a short few seconds gave in and returned the kiss, moving his lips firmly against hers. _Finally_, Morgana thought.

Morgana awoke not in fear this time, but in subtle shock. She was lying on her side in the darkness. Her dream had felt so tangible, so vivid. And what was that kiss, she wondered. Morgana put her fingertips to her lips. She could still imagine the softness of his lips, the urgency in their kiss. Even now, miles away from Merlin, she thought she could feel the tingles of their fire jumping through her veins, teasing her.

Morgana had mixed feelings on what had happened in the dream, the kiss in particular. She had thought of kissing Merlin many times before, but she never fully acted on that impulse because she wasn't sure if his feelings towards her were the same as hers, and she didn't want to sever the relationship they had built. But on the other hand, the kiss had been so satisfying and so wonderful that she wished it would happen outside of her dreams.

Every night they curled up on her bed gave her confidence—confidence to work up the nerve to say something to Merlin about her feelings. But she never did. She came so close to kissing him one night, but refrained from it and settled for a soft peck on his neck when she thought he had fallen asleep. That was the night she teased him, the night she tested her theory, to see how he reacted. He complied with whatever she told him, but never did anything to suggest that he shared her desires. Since then, she decided to push her emotions aside and to play the role of the caring friend, not the distressed girl who longed for him to reciprocate her feelings.

Morgana swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out any thought that entered her mind. She would lay there until Gwen finds her in the morning, how far away morning was, she didn't know, nor did she care. All she wanted was for Merlin to be at her side.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello again! I hope you all have a very merry Christmas! I can't tell you how much I love your reviews! I love it more that not one review has been negative, so thank you all so much for actually liking my story! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 12**

Every night until Merlin had returned, Morgana had the most peculiar dreams. Most of them were about inconceivable pain and death. These nightmares were unlike any she had ever dreamt before. They enticed her senses, causing her to question what was a dream and what was reality. One dream in particular disturbed her far more than any other. She was chained to a wall in the deepest pit she could ever fathom. Morgana was in the most agony, mentally and physically, that she had ever experienced. There was a strange winged creature at her feet and it moaned as she cried. When she thought of the creature, her entire body was consumed with adoration and pity. She was thankful for its presence, but feared for its well-being. Foul water seeped its way down to the bottom of her prison, filling the air with a vile scent. Aside from the torture, Morgana was taut with rage. Rage at the person who put her here, rage at those who abandoned her, rage at everything.

There were no more "happy" dreams since the one she had about a reunion with Merlin. Every morning she eagerly peered out her window, awaiting Merlin's return. She was extensively ecstatic and relieved when she saw Merlin's lanky body through the trees bobbing up and down as his horse trotted cheerily alongside Arthur's. Morgana's heart swelled and she dressed quickly with Gwen's help to meet them. Both ladies hurried down corridors and flights of stairs until they had reached the great oak doors that opened to the courtyard. A guard opened a door for them and they passed through slowly so that they didn't seem too excited about the boys' return. To everyone else, it was only the prince's journey back from an uninteresting task, but to Morgana, it was the return of her safety in the form of a young man she so secretly desired.

Arthur and Merlin dismounted from their horses a little ways away. Morgana swallowed and watched Merlin's every move. Gwen gave her hand a small squeeze and smiled to herself. She wanted so badly to do the same thing as Morgana, to run into his arms. Arthur caught her eye and grinned and she smiled back. Merlin was too busy untying and unstrapping bags and blankets to notice the girls at the time. He handed the bags to other servants of the court and led the horses away as Arthur instructed. Morgana looked away in what could be described almost as annoyance.

Arthur pulled off his gloves as he climbed the steps to where the pair was standing. He smiled.

"Come to welcome me, Morgana?"

"Yes," she said sarcastically, "I have been rather bored without your egotistical ranting for the past few days."

Arthur snorted, "Come on, admit it. You missed me." Morgana raised an eyebrow and turned without further word to him.

"My lord," Gwen said with a courtesy.

"Gwen," he said softly. She smiled and followed Morgana. Arthur grinned as he watched her go.

* * *

Merlin was exhausted and happy to be home. He and Arthur traveled to a village far away to find out that the "sorcerer" that was spoken of was only an old hermit that lived in a nearby cave. There were no traces of magic that Merlin or Arthur could find. Arthur believed that the villagers were just frightened by the man because he looked a bit strange. Both of them were extremely annoyed by their pointless journey, so, after one day of investigation, they set back for home. They talked, mostly, on their long ride. It consisted of witty banter, a few "shut up Merlin"s, and one or two unnecessary insults from both of them. Merlin was simply glad to be with people other than Arthur to interact with.

He and Gaius had a short but touching reunion, then he made his way to the dining hall to help serve dinner per usual. The dinner was rather hard for Merlin because he had not yet reunited himself with Morgana and she would not take her eyes off of him. He feared that she would draw attention to herself by doing so, and someone would notice. Luckily for both of their sakes, no one did. He was growing increasingly uncomfortable under her gaze because he believed her to be upset with him for leaving. True, it was a part of the mix, but not the reason as to why she was staring at him in the manner that she was.

"Thank you, Merlin. You can go," Arthur said about halfway through the meal.

"My lords, my lady," Merlin bowed and lowered the wine pitcher onto the table, Morgana smiling behind her glass, and he left without a backwards glance.

He decided it best to get on her better terms quickly, so he treaded to Morgana's chambers and waited for her. He lay stretched out on his stomach across the bed and closed his eyes. It was not long until Morgana entered, followed by Gwen. Morgana smiled at his awkward position and went about the room. Gwen raised an eyebrow and looked back at the door.

"Do you want me to leave, my lady?"

"No, that's alright. I'm sure Merlin won't mind, will you Merlin?"

"Mmmph," was his response, muffled through the sheets. The girls shared a look of amusement and Morgana walked over to the divider and stood behind it. Gwen opened the large wardrobe and pulled out a nightgown.

"Merlin, don't you dare turn over," Gwen said.

"Mmmph."

She dressed Morgana and prepared to leave.

"Is there anything else, my lady?"

"No. Thank you, Gwen. Have a good night." Gwen curtseyed and left with a small smirk on her face.

Morgana leaned against the wooden bedpost and watched the young man lounging on her bed. He rolled over and studied her carefully.

"Are you angry with me, Morgana?"

"Angry?" she asked, taken aback. "No. Why?"

Merlin shrugged wearily, "I thought you were, based on the look you were giving me at dinner."

"Mmmm…no. I'm just happy that you're home," she sighed. Morgana walked over to her bed and nudged his side to get him to scoot over. He did, and slid off his jacket and tossed it to the floor in the process. They snuggled together like they had many times before. Their bodies seemed to fit together, like two halves of one whole. The fire that sparked up when they embraced gave them both immense pleasure and comfort.

Merlin was extremely sore from his long ride. He flexed and stretched his limbs around Morgana's still body as he groaned a little when a few joints popped. Morgana pouted her bottom lip out.

"That doesn't sound comfortable." Merlin relaxed his muscles and encircled his arms around her and blew out a long sigh.

"Arthur didn't want to waste any time, so we rode as long as we could," he rolled his shoulders and winced. Morgana placed a hand gently on his chest.

"I can rub your back, if it would help."

Merlin yawned, "No, that's okay."

Morgana chewed on her bottom lip and lightly traced his protruding collar bone. "So, did you find the sorcerer?"

Merlin tried to ignore what she was doing. "There was no sorcerer. It was just an old man who lived in a cave that frightened them. We think they wanted to get rid of him, so they told us he had magic."

"That's horrible," she mumbled.

"Yeah," he mused. Morgana's fingers were cold on his bare skin and he shivered. Merlin closed his eyes and did his best to think of alternate reasons as to why she was touching him in the way that she was.

Though Merlin was exhausted and ready for sleep, Morgana was wired to explode. She felt something different in the air between them, but she couldn't quite distinguish it. Every touch, every word uttered seemed more potent than they ever had. She felt Merlin shudder under her fingertips. Morgana looked up at his closed eyes and moved her fingers to his throat, running them over the nape of his neck as he swallowed in discomfort that was unaware to Morgana. She mistook his lack of response for that of encouragement, rather than the uncertainty that he really felt. Morgana could not express with any words just how much Merlin meant to her. He was the only thing that she truly desired above all else. Morgana slid her slender fingers around the back of his neck, brushing his hairline. She took a breath and closed her eyes and carefully curled her fingers in his hair.

Merlin didn't know what to do, so he did nothing to stop her at all. Morgana felt excited tingles of their fire spreading through her body. She pressed her forehead against his and breathed slowly, trying to steady her rapid heart. Merlin clinched his teeth shut. _No, please. Not this_, he thought. He had an idea of what she was going to do, and he was nowhere on the same page as her. He opened his eyes and saw Morgana's shut fast and tight as if she was concentrating hard on something.

Merlin's eyes were still open when Morgana pressed her face against his, their lips touching, nothing more. He swallowed again and blinked once. He felt Morgana smile against his lips. She kissed his upper lip slowly and cautiously. Merlin tensed. He gave her no reaction, so she did it again with more force.

Merlin pulled his face away from hers. Morgana's eyes flew open and it only took one look at Merlin's face for her to understand that she had made a mistake. It was clear that he did not share her feelings. Embarrassed, she pushed herself away and sat up. Merlin sat up as well. Neither looked at the other.

"Morgana…" Merlin started quietly and delicately.

"Don't, Merlin," she said sadly and closed her eyes.

Merlin looked at his hands in his lap uncomfortably, "Do you want me to go?"

"I don't want to suffer from embarrassment _and_ nightmares," she said curtly. Morgana was so upset with her own naivety that she lay down on the farthest edge of the bed and faced away from Merlin. Merlin felt so much guilt and sorrow for her.

"Morgana," he said again.

"Stop, Merlin."

He wasn't sure, but he thought he could hear traces of tears in her voice. Merlin lay on his back and stared up at the canopy top. This was not the reunion he had been expecting. He had hoped that everything would be the same when he returned, but obviously something had changed in Morgana. Merlin glanced over at her silent form. He wanted so badly to wrap her up in his arms again, but knew that she would be completely opposed to it. Merlin closed his eyes because there was nothing else he could do, and shortly fell asleep.

Morgana rubbed at her eyes as the tears came more quickly and splattered silently on the cold stone floor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Here is your Christmas gift from me: a teaser chapter. Merry Christmas! Also, I want to ask you all something! In a review, would you post what your prediction for the story line is? I want to see if any of you are close! Also, I want to apologize to those few of you who are wanting some Brolin action. For some reason writing Brolin is the hardest thing for me! I will try to improve my Brolin skills, but I'm not sure how well they will turn out. Anyways, Merry Christmas!**

**Chapter 13**

Merlin awoke with stiff muscles and a wretched headache. He blinked a couple of times and looked over at Morgana. She was still as far away from him as she could get. Merlin rolled onto his side and watched her unmoving form.

"Morgana?"

There was no reply. She must be asleep. Merlin reached across the empty space and took one of her dark curls in between his fingers. _Why don't I feel anything for her?_ he wondered. _The Dragon said that we will love each other, but how come she has reached that point before me? Is it because I _knew_? Did I prevent myself from getting too close? _Merlin was lost. Love was his weakest subject. He did hope, however, that he came to love her soon, so that Morgana's suffering would cease. Above all else, Merlin didn't want to lose her. They had just created a beautiful friendship, and it would destroy him if something ruined that bond.

Merlin twisted the curl in his fingers then let it drop. He desired to reach over and wrap an arm around her waist and pull her to him so that he could bury his face in her hair. He loved to that, especially when her hair was wet. It would smell sweet, like flowers. But Merlin knew better. He was afraid that she would think he was coming onto her. He was angry at himself for not protecting her like he had promised himself he would.

Merlin wanted to leave so that she wouldn't have to confront him when she woke up, but it was too early. She deserved every second of the nightmare-free sleep she had been waiting for. He closed his eyes and took a breath, then willed himself to sleep.

* * *

Morgana did not sleep at all that night. Not a wink. How could she sleep when her own excitement betrayed her? Merlin's rejection hurt her more than she anticipated. She expected to brush it off and everything would go back to the way that it was. There was something in his face—the look of absolute pity. _Pity_ of all things. It was as if he had known she had affections for him and knew that they wouldn't be requited, despite anything she would do. Morgana was not the best at concealing her emotions around him, but still, it was just the _expression on his face_. Just one look and she was shaken to the very core.

All night she ventured between crying and wondering about what would have happened if she had not kissed him. Morgana imagined a night of intimate bliss, folded in his arms, and no fear of dreams. Instead, she let her impatience and desire get the better of her. She wasn't sure how long she had laid there until the bed shifted.

"Morgana?"

Morgana didn't want to face Merlin yet, so she said nothing. Her scalp tingled and she realized that he was pulling at a strand of her hair, or something similar. She felt her hair fall back into place shortly after. It took every ounce of her self-control not to fling herself at him and beg him to forgive her of her foolishness. This ruffled her greatly because she had never cared about how others reacted to things that she said or did, but Merlin was different. She wanted him to only think the best of her. All she wanted in that moment was to be back in the warmth of his arms without the negative air between them.

Morgana knew that there was still enough night remaining to work in a few hours of sleep, however it eluded her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello again! I hope you all had a great Christmas! I hope you like this one! It was fun to write!**

**Chapter 14**

The days ahead were taxing, to say the least. Merlin didn't' bring up the kiss, so neither did Morgana. They decided that separation would help their situation. They avoided each other in public when possible. Once or twice, one of them would give a greeting or a nod of acknowledgement, but that was their only conversation. The only time they had together was when they would sleep on the far opposites of Morgana's bed. They had even stopped their frequent magic study sessions at first, but Morgana found that her magic was weaker than it had been before. Merlin had to coax her magic back to life, so they practiced magic once a week at most. It was very uncomfortable for them both when Merlin would take her hand to feed her magic, and they would look anywhere but each other as the fire flowed from him into Morgana.

After almost a week of this, Merlin stole away from Arthur one afternoon and paced quickly to Morgana's room. He opened the door and entered unannounced. Gwen gave him a look and Morgana's eyes widened in anticipation.

"Gwen, can you give us a moment?"

"Yes, my lady." Gwen made her leave without a further glance at Merlin.

"Morgana," he said as he strode over to where she was sitting at the wooden table.

"Yes?" she asked eagerly.

"I'm sick of this," he whined, "You're my friend, and I hate this."

"Me too," she said quietly. Merlin sighed in an exasperated manner and plopped down into an adjacent chair to Morgana's.

"What should we do?"

Morgana cleared her throat. "Well, um, first I want to apologize…"

"Morgana, it's okay."

"Just let me finish, Merlin." Merlin held his tongue and gazed at the flowers in the center of the table to distract him. "I obviously have a different idea of our _relationship_, and I acted out on it, and I'm sorry." She bent her head towards him, trying to get Merlin to look her in the eye. Merlin glanced up at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. Morgana hesitantly placed her hand on his. "It's okay that you don't share my…_idea_," she said with a grimace, "I just want us to be like we were before—normal."

Merlin pulled back and scoffed, "Normal? We have magic, we'll never be normal." Morgana grinned.

"Yes, but you know what I mean." He patted her hand on his.

"Yeah. Okay, normal."

A pressing weight was lifted from his shoulders. He now knew that there was hope for them to reunite as they had been before. Merlin knew that Morgana had feelings for him, but he wasn't going to let that affect him. He stood and gave her one last goofy smile.

"See you tonight, then." Morgana looked down and smiled as Merlin exited.

* * *

After that confrontation, their relationship healed itself day by day. Morgana's magic was sorted and the two of them were once again sleeping in each other's arms. Little did Merlin know, every time Morgana laid eyes on him her heart was filled with sorrow. She loved everything about him. She loved his smile, his laugh, his charm. He was beautiful to her in a way only someone who has ever been in love could understand. Morgana could find no faults in him. All she could ask for is for Merlin to love her in return.

Morgana tried more than ever to keep her emotions under control for his sake, but with every passing hour it became harder and harder. It was painful for her, knowing that she could get as close to him as she wanted, but not close enough to have captured his heart. Amidst their midnight embraces she would find herself fantasizing about if he would move his hand just a little bit lower…And she would snap herself out of it before it got out of hand.

Merlin would give her small kisses on her forehead some nights that were meant to be comforting, but instead tortured her in a way she never knew existed. She had never experienced heartache such as this, and it was destroying her from the inside. Merlin, of course, didn't understand. He was chirpy as ever, thinking that all was well with his friend. It hurt Morgana, knowing that Merlin didn't notice. She secretly hoped that he would recognize just how much she was suffering by his hand. The frustration of unreciprocated love was building and building inside her, and she was bound to break soon.

* * *

"Ready?" Merlin asked cheerily as he entered Morgana's room late one night.

"Yes," Morgana replied rather tautly. Merlin pulled out his book of magic from his small bag and sat crisscross on the stone floor, propping himself up against the wall. Morgana did likewise.

"Okay, so I found this spell that cane give someone an extra finger," he said excitedly. He flipped through the thick volume on his lap until he found the right page. "Do you want to try it?"

"What use is a spell like that?"

"Well, I thought it would, you know, be fun," he explained perplexedly.

"Can we learn a spell that would actually serve a purpose for once?"

Merlin blew out a tense breath and closed his book slowly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said with a clenched jaw. Merlin looked down at his hands.

"Morgana, what's wrong?"

Morgana sighed impatiently, "It doesn't matter." Merlin took one of her hands.

"Everything matters."

"You wouldn't understand," she said matter-of-factly. Morgana drew her hand out of his and he rested his own back in his lap. Merlin assumed that she was cranky because it was probably that time of month again. The last time he encountered her on that occasion, she nearly bit his head off. He decided to act as if nothing was wrong like he always did when she was in a mood similar to this.

"Okay, well, we can try a different spell I found." Merlin skimmed through the rough pages. "Ah, here. It's a spell that makes people fall asleep, and this one…" he slid his finger over the page, "This one wakes them up. How about this one?"

"Sure," Morgana said, uninterested. Merlin let the book drop to the floor in front of him.

"How about we just don't practice tonight?"

"What? No! Why wouldn't we practice?"

Merlin gave her a look, "You're obviously not up for it."

"Of course I am! What makes you think I'm not?"

"You're just in a…_temperament_."

"A temperament?"

"Yeah, a temperament. I know how girls have _issues_ every month…"

"Oh my God!" Morgana cried incredulously, "You think I'm bleeding?" Merlin shifted uncomfortably. She scoffed. "You're not even close."

"Then tell me what's wrong! I'm your friend, Morgana, I want to help!" he pleaded.

Morgana glared at him. "Just leave it Merlin!" She stood and walked over to the center of the room.

"Morgana, I'm serious, I want to know." He hoisted himself off of the ground and strode over to where she was standing. Morgana put her face in her hands and sighed, obviously frustrated.

"It's you, Merlin. You're my problem." Her hands fell to her side and she backed away from him. Merlin didn't understand.

"What do you mean? How am I—?"

"Because I love you!" she blew up on him. He clenched his jaw. "And because you _know_ I love you! Do you know what that's like, Merlin?" she yelled, "To love someone that doesn't love you back?" Merlin opened his mouth to interject. "Because it's torture. Torture, Merlin, and I hate it!" Tears sprung from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

Merlin was silent. He was ashamed of himself for not noticing, for not being careful around her. Morgana turned away from him in response to his silence. Merlin knew of a way to make her feel better, but he wasn't sure if it was such a good idea. He swallowed and walked slowly over to where Morgana stood, still facing away from him.

"Don't, Merlin," she said sadly. It broke his heart to see her like that, knowing that it was his fault. Merlin stepped around her and made them face each other. Morgana looked up at him through tear filled green eyes. Merlin grabbed her gently by the shoulders.

"You're right Morgana. I don't love you." Morgana looked away and tried to blink away her tears. "I don't love you _now_," he took a breath, "but I know that I will. Someday, at least." Morgana gave him a look of disbelief.

"What do you mean?"

He chose his words carefully. "I read a prophecy a long time ago, and it was about us." Morgana raised an eyebrow, her eyes still glistening. "The prophecy said that we will love each other."

"What? Why would there be a prophecy just about that?"

"The rest of it said that our…_love_," he said delicately, "would make us powerful, that our magic would be greater than we could imagine." Morgana thought his words over.

"Is that what the warmth we feel when we touch is? Our shared power, I mean."

"Oh, I've actually never thought of that. It could be."

Morgana chewed on her bottom lip. "But where did you read this prophecy?"

Merlin swallowed, "Oh, uh I found it in a book on accident in a druid's cave."

"Can I read it?" she asked eagerly.

"Oh, I don't have it anymore."

Morgana nodded in understanding. Her mood seemed to be getting better by the second. She smiled widely to herself through the remaining tears. "So you'll love me back?"

Merlin felt immense pity in the way that she asked her question. He swallowed. "Yes, I will. Sometime."

Morgana's breath hitched and she flung her arms around his neck for a bone crunching hug. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her close. Fresh tears of joy sprung from Morgana's eyes. She couldn't help herself when she pulled back and kissed him desperately. Merlin's eyes flew open, but he didn't move otherwise. He kissed her back without any emotion behind it, only just giving her what she wanted in the moment. He knew that it would comfort her as well. Morgana gripped at the back of his neck roughly. Merlin thought he was sure to have marks on his skin afterwards. Morgana pulled back for a breath, but not long enough for Merlin to attempt to say something before she pressed her lips firmly back against his. Merlin wasn't sure how long it went on for until Morgana finally removed herself from him. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Merlin moved his hands slowly up and down her back, trying to soothe her.

"Um…" she said against him.

"It's okay," he reassured her. He didn't want her to think that she had made another mistake.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I know why you did that."

"Did what?"

"Letting me kiss you."

Merlin didn't reply, but he kept stroking her soft hair.

After a while he asked, "Are you tired?"

Morgana scoffed, "Not at all." He grinned a little, unable to stop himself.

"Do you want to practice magic then?" Morgana leaned away and he loosened his grip a little. She looked up at him, smiling.

"You're the one getting the extra finger."


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hello again! I've finally finished this chapter! I hope you like it! If I could give you all hugs and kisses for your wonderful reviews, I would, but sadly technology isn't that advanced yet, but the feelings are the same! Thank you for your awesome reviews! Happy New Year!**_

**Chapter 15**

Merlin still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with his hand. He and Morgana had a good laugh over his short lived sixth finger. They were in high spirits after their resounding conversation and went to bed happily after their experiment, snuggled up in each other's arms. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep.

* * *

Merlin was now cleaning Arthur's hunting boots as Arthur himself was reviewing articles or something, Merlin wasn't sure, at his large oak desk. They hadn't spoken much all morning because there was too much to be done. With each stroke of his rough cloth on the fine leather, Merlin thought about Morgana, and more importantly, her idea about the meaning behind their shared fire. He was completely dumbfounded by the fact that he hadn't thought of it before. It made so much sense that he was a little annoyed that he hadn't figured it out. He used the excuse of "I didn't have Gaius to talk about it" to make himself feel better.

He wondered what would happen to his and Morgana's magic when he finally falls in love with her. Yes, he knew that it would be more powerful, but how _much_ more powerful is what he yearned to know. He wanted to know how long it would take for him to come to love her. Should he try to make himself develop feelings for her, or let it happen as nature would have it? Merlin wasn't good with decisions like this.

Arthur looked up from his manuscripts and peered at his manservant across the room.

"You've been awfully quiet this morning."

Merlin shrugged. "Just thinking."

Arthur gave him a look of mock surprise. "Oooh! Thinking? What could _you_ be thinking?"

Merlin grinned, "Nothing of your concern, I can assure you." Arthur leaned back in his chair.

"Oh, come on, Merlin. Indulge me."

"That's alright, sire."

"Why won't you tell me?" he asked curiously.

Merlin chuckled and grabbed the other boot. "Because I don't need a royal prat butting into my private life."

"Private life?" Arthur laughed. "Since when do you have a private life? You're an open book, Merlin." Merlin shrugged again and scuffed at the boot. Arthur brought his fingers to his lips. "Hmmm… Let's see…" he rapped his fingers over his mouth as he spoke, "Is there something wrong with you and Gaius? Oh, no, that can't be it; you'd be sulking… Is it a friend? Oh, not that either—you don't have friends." He gave Merlin a grin. Merlin scowled and reached for the hunting jacket. Arthur rapped his fingers again. "Is it…a girl?" Merlin started at the mention of a girl, but quickly tried to cover it up by wiping at the jacket's sleeve. It didn't work. "Aha. So it _is_ a girl?" Merlin cringed but said nothing. "Go on then. Tell me what's happening. Who is she?"

Merlin didn't know what to say, but he knew that he could in no way tell Arthur that he was seeing Morgana, if "seeing" was even the correct word to describe what they were doing.

"Uh…she's a serving girl—she works in the kitchens."

"Hm…" Arthur laced his hands behind his head. "Go on."

"Wh—I—she," he stammered.

"_What's she like?_"

"Merlin set down the jacket and rag. "She's nice." He gave a small smile.

"Nice? That's all I get? _Nice_?"

"Well, um, okay…" Merlin thought for a moment. He tried to invent a girl, but came up with nothing. Instead, an idea formed in his mind. "She's wonderful," he said, "but I'm not sure if I feel anything towards her, so…"

"So you want me to give you advice on women?" he asked rather prideful.

Merlin frowned, "Well, I didn't ask—"

"Of course I can help you, Merlin!" he said, cutting Merlin off. He jumped up and strode over to where Merlin sat and pulled up a chair to sit facing him. "Go ahead," he said eagerly.

"With what?"

"Your questions!"

Merlin thought that pretending to be shy about the whole matter would conceal his ulterior motive. He was hoping that Arthur would help him find answers.

"Okay, um…How do you know when you've fallen in love?"

Arthur leaned back in the chair and thought for a moment.

"Well, it's when you start to notice the little things first. Her smile seems brighter, her laugh begins to sound like music, and every time you see her you can't breathe." Merlin had no doubt in his mind that Arthur was thinking of Gwen. He smiled to himself and waited for Arthur to continue. "And after that, you learn that she is the center of your world. All you want is to make her happy. Whatever she needs, you want to be the one to provide." Arthur leaned forward and put out a finger, pointing at Merlin. "And then finally, when you _know_ you're in love, your one true desire is to hold her in your arms and never let go."

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"It's like you would be lost, or go mad, if you were separated from her. She becomes the one thing you can rely on." Merlin couldn't help but laugh out loud at Arthur's dramatic speech. "Shut up Merlin, it's obvious you've never been in love."

"You're right, I haven't," he snickered. Arthur whacked him on the arm and walked back over to his desk.

"I want that jacket _gleaming_."

"Gleaming, sire? It's leather."

"Oh, you know what I mean," Arthur said irritated.

Merlin smirked and got back to work.

* * *

Merlin came bounding into Gaius's chambers after a hard day of chores.

"Ah, Merlin! Just in time. I've just pulled the stew from the fire." Gaius was organizing papers on his work desk. Merlin smiled.

"Thanks Gaius." He fixed two bowls of stew and set them on the dinner table, grabbed spoons and drinks, and then settled down in his usual seat at the table. Gaius joined him shortly after.

"Long day?" he asked based on the way Merlin was shoveling his food into his mouth.

Merlin nodded in between spoonfuls. "I'm just glad that I'm done."

Gaius peered at him from across the table. "What about your chores tonight? And the ones tomorrow morning?"

"What?"

Gaius sighed loudly and leaned back. "I can always tell when you lie to me, Merlin." Merlin just caught on and cursed himself for not being careful. Gaius was talking about the chores he had made up that explained his absence during the evenings and mornings. They were the chores that were his excuse for being with Morgana. Somehow Gaius had found out that he wasn't doing these chores. At least he didn't know what Merlin was really doing.

"And were you planning on telling me that you've been staying with Lady Morgana any time soon?"

Merlin spewed his stew all over the table.

"Oh really Merlin, did you think that I _wouldn't_ make sure you were doing what you told me?" Merlin wiped his mouth on his jacket sleeve.

"You followed me?" he asked indignantly.

"Of course I followed you," Gaius handed him a cloth to clean up with, "I had to see that you weren't doing anything dangerous."

"So all this time you've known?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was hoping that you would do the right thing and tell me," he chided.

Merlin looked down at his bowl solemnly.

"So," Gaius began after Merlin had been silent for a while, "Since when have you and Morgana…" He made gestures with his hands. Merlin's eyes widened in shock.

"No! We've just been sleeping together—_next_ to each other!—not…you know, _that_," he explained awkwardly.

"Uh-huh," Gaius said in an all too understanding way. Merlin didn't want him to get the wrong idea so he hastily continued.

"I sleep with her only because, well, it makes her nightmares stop."

Gaius's eyes widened in horror. "Does she know that you have magic?" Merlin swallowed and nodded. Gaius made a frustrated noise. "Is there anything _else_ you want to tell me?"

Merlin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Yes. Two things, actually." Gaius waited for him to continue. "I've been teaching her magic—wait, let me finish," he held up a hand to stop Gaius's protests, "I'm teaching her magic because of what the dragon told me."

"What did the dragon tell you?"

"I was getting to that."

Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"He told me that Morgana shares my destiny. He said that she would help me bring magic to Camelot." He decided to leave out the whole "love" bit since it wasn't vital information for Gaius to know.

"Are you sure about this Merlin?"

"Absolutely."

Gaius resumed eating. "I'm still disappointed with you lying to me, Merlin."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I thought it would be easier if you were unsuspecting."

"But you see, it will be easier now that I do know."

"How?"

"Because I'll have less chores of my own," he smiled over his spoon.

"What do you—oh. Right," Merlin should have expected this. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Gaius's spoon was halfway to his mouth when he froze.

"So I've been brewing Morgana's sleeping potion all this time for no reason?"

Merlin flushed. "Yeah."

"Merlin!"

"Well we needed you to think she still used it!"

"_Merlin_."

Merlin stood up quickly and smiled. "Would you look at the time? I'd better get going. Thanks for the stew Gaius!" He made a break for the exit.

"_Merlin_!" Gaius was too late; Merlin was already out the door and on his way to Morgana's room. He shook his head and finished the remainder of his stew.

* * *

Merlin was in a very good mood by the time he reached Morgana's room. He always hated lying to Gaius and he was ecstatic to be relieved of this particular burden at last. When Merlin pushed open the door he found Morgana, her hair woven in a single braid, laying on her bed reading from his book of magic.

"Hi Merlin," she said, not looking up. Merlin replayed his routine of kicking off his boots and casting his jacket to the ground next to them. He flung himself down onto the bed next to her and lay flat on his back.

"What are you reading?"

"The spell book."

"I can see that, but _what_ are you reading?"

Morgana gave him a sidelong glance. "An enchantment that can turn a person into an animal."

"Hm. You won't be trying that one on me." She turned the page. Merlin just laid there as she read. It was too quiet for him. "So what did you do today?" he asked. Normally after a day like this he would be exhausted, but he was beginning to feel a little restless. Morgana seemed not to have heard him. She was completely engrossed with the secrets of the thick book in her hands. Merlin closed his eyes and stretched out his arms and legs, groaning and moaning rather loudly as he did so. He opened one eye to look up at Morgana. She was still reading, her eyes darting back and forth across the pages. He stretched his arm out again and rested it on her stomach. She looked down, but only for a second. Merlin swatted his hand at the book and it went tumbling to the floor.

"Merlin!"

"Sorry," he said with a smile as he closed his open eye. Morgana couldn't help herself when she smiled back, even though she was quite annoyed.

"I was reading, you know."

"But you're not reading anymore."

Morgana rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Merlin?"

"To talk," he sighed.

Morgana forgot the book that was resting on the stone floor and turned onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

Merlin opened both of his eyes now and looked up at her. Her green eyes were bright despite the dim room that was lit by only a few candles.

"Gaius knows." Morgana's face paled.

"And?"

"I'm not sure if he's okay with it, _this_, I mean, but he's understanding at the least."

"Does he know that we practice magic?" He nodded. Morgana blew out a breath. She seemed relieved. Merlin assumed that she hated lying as much as he did. She positioned herself against Merlin's side, using his arm as a pillow.

Although Merlin said he wanted to talk, he didn't say a further word. They laid there in silence, listening to their synchronized breathing. All the while, Merlin was thinking over what Arthur had said about love as he twisted the end of Morgana's braid in his fingers. He wanted to experience what Arthur felt for Gwen, but he didn't know how.

Merlin was snapped out of his thoughts when Morgana whispered an incantation. The candles blew themselves out and they were in complete darkness. She kissed him slowly on the cheek and burrowed back down against him.

"Good night, Merlin." Merlin closed his eyes and held her close.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Hello again! I love you and your reviews! And I must apologize to my tumblr follower who asked me to publish the next chapter on their birthday (the 17 of January) I may or may not be able to have a complete chapter by then, but I will do my best to post something! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Review? (:**_

**Chapter 16**

As the days passed, Merlin's frustration grew by the hour. The frustration came from one thing: Morgana. He wasn't irritated with _her_; it was her love for him. Jealousy followed him like a shadow. He was envious of the way her eyes swelled with affection every time the shared a look, the way she would deliver tender caresses without even thinking about it. It wasn't that Merlin felt nothing at all, it was that he had no desire for her. When he thought of what it meant to love a person in such a way, he only thought of desire. Merlin believed that he would only truly love Morgana when he yearned for her in that way. Unknowingly though, he was missing the most important factors involved in love.

It was on one late summer evening that Merlin got to thinking. He was sitting at Morgana's wooden dining table creating a list of incantations that he wanted to learn with Morgana. Morgana had just sent Gwen away for the night and they were left alone as usual. She was already in her nightdress and was sitting in front of her vanity mirror, plucking pins and clips out of her hair. Merlin watched her from across the room as she worked her slender pale fingers through her dark wavy locks. Morgana picked up her comb and began to brush.

"Are you sure you should've let Gwen go this early?" Merlin called from his seat.

"I can manage my own hair, thank you," came her reply. She smiled at him through the mirror. Merlin folded his papers together and stuffed them inside the thick spell book and heaved himself to his feet.

"Allow me," he said when he was standing behind her. She rolled her eyes but handed him the comb.

Morgana loved it when Merlin did these small acts of affection. To her it meant that he was trying to have a change of heart, and it gave her hope.

"Thank you," she said with a grin as he began to work his magic. With every stroke of the comb through Morgana's silky hair, Merlin formed a thought that lead to another, which bore an idea: _Could I make myself fall in love? What will happen if I do? Would it not be real? Would Morgana know? I can't take much more of this, it's killing me._

"Merlin?" Morgana asked, her voice full of genuine concern.

"Hm?" he asked, gazing at her through the mirror. He looked down and realized that he hadn't been brushing her hair for a while, but was standing there, deep in thought. "Sorry, just…distracted," he mumbled. Morgana gave him an odd expression, but otherwise let it slide. Merlin began to brush once more.

How do you make yourself love someone? Merlin's head was spinning so fast that it began to ache. The thumping in his head matched the rapid beating of his anxious heart. The whole idea of trying to force himself to love Morgana sickened him, but at the same time he knew that their destiny could not be fulfilled until they shared that bond.

Merlin inhaled deeply, his mind set on what he thought he must do. He looked at her in the mirror; she was playing with a frayed end of her sleeve, muttering about how it needs to be mended. Merlin slowly combed her hair to the side, leaving her neck bare. Hesitantly he raised his free hand and brought it to her naked throat, tracing his fingers over her neck, her jaw. Morgana raised an eyebrow and gave him a mischievous grin. She had something quirky in mind to say, but she knew to treat him lightly when he was like this, as not to scare him away. Merlin didn't meet her eyes, but instead kept himself focused on what he was doing. He leaned over her and set the silver comb on the vanity. Merlin swallowed nervously and drew his other hand up to her neck, Morgana observing him with intrigued curiosity all the while. Merlin placed that hand under her chin, turning and tilting her head back. He met her eyes now, but said nothing of his intent.

"Merlin…" Morgana said softly.

Merlin stooped over her still body and, with a twinge of nerves in his stomach, closed his eyes and pressed his lips gently against Morgana's. He felt her smile beneath his lips and she returned the kiss tenderly.

Merlin, in a short way of putting it, felt odd. The kiss didn't feel wrong, but at the same time, it didn't give him what he wanted. The kiss was pleasant to him, the recognition of the fire burning slowly through his body the moment their lips met, but no hunger followed it.

Morgana raised her hand and stroked his cheek. Merlin opened his eyes and pulled back from their kiss. Morgana slowly opened her eyes and continued to stroke his cheek. She was smiling up at him, but he gave her no smile in return.

"I'm sorry," he said, removing himself from her embrace. He stepped away and she turned around in her chair, a confused expression stretched across her face.

"Don't be sorry." Merlin perched himself wearily on the edge of the table and twaddle his thumbs. Morgana was awaiting his reason for the kiss and he knew it.

Merlin cleared his throat. "Um," he started, trying to find the right words, "I was just testing—seeing if when I—when we, um, I just thought, you know, if—well you and I—"

"You wanted to know if you loved me yet," Morgana said with a grin. She bit her bottom lip to try to cover up just how pleased she really was.

"Well, not quiet that…"

Morgana cocked her head to the side. "Then what…?"

He gulped. Merlin wasn't sure how she'd take to his idea. "Um, I wanted to see if I felt anything yet, yeah, but I also wanted to try to…_make_ myself feel something…" he said the last part as lightly as possible. Morgana chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking.

"So you think you can force yourself to love someone?"

Merlin shrugged, defeated. "I don't know."

Morgana stood and carried herself to where he sat, standing not two feet from him. Merlin was preparing to be slapped, for that was a possible outcome from the look on her face. Morgana sprung at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately. Merlin, wide-eyed and shocked, had to prom himself up on the table's surface if not to be flattened under the force of Morgana's kiss. Coursing through his body, the fire torched his veins with an intensity he had never experienced before. Merlin finally kissed her back when he found no reason not to. Resting his free hand on her hip, he tried to match the rate at which Morgana was moving her lips desperately against his, hoping that somehow, amongst their frenzy, some buried emotion would arise and awaken the love in him.

Merlin wondered if Morgana was experiencing the same sensation of a burning body as she was. He was trying so hard to focus on their kissing, but the fire was becoming overwhelming. His hands curled into tight balls, his back arched, rigid with pain. His limbs stiffened, and his muscles tightened, he tasted blood on his tongue, assuming he'd bitten his lip.

Morgana seemed to not have noticed Merlin's strange behavior and she relaxed against him, turning their kisses into slower and less intense ones. She unhooked her arms from his heck and dragged them down to rest against his chest. She could feel his rabid heart beating beneath the fabric of his shirt. Morgana kissed him one last time before breaking apart, leaning back only enough to see his whole face.

"Merlin? What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly stricken with fear. Merlin's face was contorted with agony, his eyes were shut tight and there was blood on his lips that formed a painful grimace. Merlin gave her no answer other than a moan to express his discomfort. Morgana's eyes widened in alarm. "Merlin! What's happening!" Merlin threw back his head and groaned. The fire was too much. He was seeing blots of light against his eyelids. From his head to his toes, his entire being, was white hot like lightning that had just struck a tree—explosive pain.

Morgana removed herself from him, backing up to give him space. And just like that—the moment her hands left his body, the fire ceased altogether. Merlin's eyes shot open wide and he sat up gasping. Morgana gaped at him, equally wide-eyed.

"What?" she asked nervously. As Merlin caught his breath, an ache spread through his body as if he had just run a great league. He tried steading his breathing and finally managed to speak.

"You didn't feel that? _Any_ of that?" Morgana's eyebrows came together in surprise and confusion.

"No, Merlin. I—what are you talking about?"

Merlin hunched forward and rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand, trying to shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. He slowly lifted his head and stared up t Morgana who wore a worried look plastered on her face. She was twisting her hair anxiously between her fingers as she watched him. _The pain started when she kissed me_, Merlin thought. _The pain stopped when she backed away_. It was a bitter revelation, and Merlin didn't know what to think. His first thought was that the fire represented something close to the bond that the shared, the power that was to come from them being together. With that idea, the whole matter didn't seem to be as bad in Merlin's mind. The second thought, however, was that Morgana's magic had negatively erupted again—like the incident with the doe. Something had happened and she accidently unleased dark magic. And with that idea, he was terrified, for himself and for Morgana. He dare not say anything, lest he send Morgana into a panicked fit.

Merlin straightened up and looked her in the eye. "Nothing," he breathed, "I'm fine."

Morgana was taken aback. "You're _fine_? You were just crying out in pain not a moment ago!" Merlin stood and walked stiffly over to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her squarely in the face.

"I'm fine now."

"But what—"

"I don't know," was all he gave for an explanation. Merlin peered down at her mouth and noticed for the first time that some of his blood lingered on her lips. He brought the end of his sleeve over his fingers and wiped at her mouth gently. "Sorry."

Morgana shrugged and answered when his hand was away from her face, "It's fine, Merlin. It didn't hurt."

Merlin blinked. "I bit _you_? I thought I bit myself!"

Morgana blushed and looked away. "I thought it was…deliberate," she said slowly.

Merlin flushed, "Oh."

With nothing else to be said, Merlin returned to his seat on the edge of the table. Morgana licked her lips nervously and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Did it work?" she asked hopefully.

Merlin looked down at the stone floor, understanding fully what she was asking of him. "No." She turned away rather quickly and made for the bed, tossing pillows to the ground.

"It doesn't matter. It'll happen eventually." Her voice was strained and Merlin swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Merlin." Morgana violently kicked her legs under the sheets until she was situated.

"It's not your fault either, Morgana," he said quietly. Morgana gave no response, but she rolled over so that she was facing away from him.

Merlin picked up his book and papers and slid them under his jacket that was in a heap on the floor. He watched Morgana as she lay motionless, buried under a mountain of bedsheets. E padded barefoot over to where she lay, instead of the usual side of the bed where he slept, and nudged at her side. Morgana scooted over reluctantly, still not facing him, and he climbed in, enfolding her in his arms. Merlin buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. _Flowers_.

The pair laid there in silence, a turmoil of emotions sat between them. Long after Morgana had fallen asleep, Merlin lay awake, thinking about their previous actions. The more he thought the angrier he became. _It shouldn't be this hard!_ Merlin cursed himself, and he cursed his inability to love Morgana in the way he desired. He wished he had never known of the wretched prophecy. _I would have been able to fall in love naturally, but instead I have the prophecy reminding me that I _have _to!_ Merlin seethed in the darkness, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists. Morgana stirred in his arms, but did not awaken. Merlin relaxed a little, being brought back to the present. He pulled back his hand and stroked Morgana's cheek_. I will love you_, he thought as if he was speaking aloud to her, _I promise_. Merlin wrapped his arm back around her. _And I have one last idea._

* * *

The next day, well into the afternoon, Merlin stole away from the castle and climbed down an endless stairwell, a lit torch in his hand.

"Tell me," Merlin demanded, "How do I fall in love with Morgana?"

The Great Dragon, resting high upon his acclaimed rock, chuckled loudly.

"Tell me!"

"Do not bother me with such questions, young warlock." Merlin stepped forward, further into the cave.

"No! You told me that we would love each other. I want to know _how_!"

The dragon considered the boy. "Why?" his question was to test him. Merlin looked up at the great scaly monster incredulously.

"_Why_?" The dragon waited. "Why? Because it's driving me mad!"

"Because you want the power for your magic?"

"No!" Merlin cried impatiently. "I _want_ to love her! But I can't!"

The Great Dragon watched him with penetrating eyes. "Why can't you?"

Merlin groaned, frustrated. "_I don't know_. That's why I came to you."

The dragon lifted his head. "I will help you, young warlock." Merlin sighed and waited anxiously for him to continue. "You cannot recognize the love between yourself and the witch because you already love her."

Merlin stared at him in denial. "What? No, no, I would know if—"

"Would you?" the dragon asked, amused.

"Yes!" he said, but he was starting to doubt. "But…" Merlin blinked and dropped the torch. It clattered to the cavern floor. He put his face in his hands. "I don't know."

"There is more." Merlin looked up abruptly.

"What?" The dragon looked down at the despairing young man.

"You already have the love you so desire for the young witch, only it is unreachable to you." Merlin glared up at him, confused. "Love is a strange magic itself," the dragon chuckled again, "It will come forth when the time is right."

Merlin shook his head. "That's it? There's no way that I can make it happen now?"

"I will tell you this: the time is coming upon us quickly. And you should make ready for it, for if you do not, your destiny cannot be fulfilled." The dragon unfolded his large torn wings and stretched them wide. Merlin was about to call out another question, but the dragon launched himself upwards and disappeared in the cave, the sound of heavy flapping and the great chain clanking against rock echoed all around. Merlin felt numb, no emotion on the news, just numb. He swallowed and retrieved his torch, which was still alight, and turned, about to make his leave.

The faint voice of the dragon drifted down to Merlin, "Don't forget, young warlock, she will break your heart." The dragon's voice was ominous and strange. Merlin tried to ignore the chill that ran up his spine.


End file.
